Mother was crazy. What she had done was evil. If I had to fight to get away, I would, but I didn’t want to hurt her. I didn’t think I could. She was all I’d ever known. She hadn’t always treated me badly.

I dug my nails into my palms and looked at the knife again. I shook my head, felt my hair tickle my cheeks. Exhaling, I hardened my heart against the fear curdling my blood.

There was no ignoring it though: Mother was dangerous. I needed to get away. I needed to help Emma get away. I had to make sure she got back home to her real mummy and daddy. She was too small to help herself and there was no way I was going to leave her here. She shouldn’t have to grow up like me, locked in a gloomy house with no friends and no daddy, believing she was going to die soon.

I groaned and rubbed my temples. My heart hurt and my head hurt and I needed all of this to end as quickly as possible. As quickly as possible without anyone getting hurt.

With shaking hands, I washed up the plate and knife and wiped down the surfaces.

I looked at the knife once more then left the room.

Chapter 20

One week later

Though Mother hadn’t given me permission, I took a risk and dashed downstairs, determined to get started. For days, I’d sat in my room and tried to work out how to escape, working through situation after situation, idea after idea, doubt after doubt, and fear after fear about what would happen if I tried to get away and was unsuccessful.

Now, finally, it was time to act. If I put it off any longer, I might question my decision to leave, and questioning might lead to doubting and doubting might lead to talking myself out of it.

It was clear Mother had taken great care to keep me a secret. From looking out of her bedroom window I knew that the cottage was far away from other buildings. How long it would take to reach the closest one was impossible for me to guess. Horribly impossible.

Heart thrumming madly, I stood on tiptoe and opened the top kitchen cupboard where Mother kept the tinned food. If my plan was going to work, I might need some supplies. The last thing I wanted was to escape the cottage then starve to death.