‘Yes. Like I said. There’s no sense trying to wrap your head round what she’s done. What she’s done is unforgivable. She’s a monster and if I get the chance, I’ll kill her.’

Chapter 43

We sat in silence, holding hands.

I groped for words but could not find ones that would do. I longed to know what had happened to the baby, but didn’t dare ask. If Olivia felt like telling me, she would.

My tummy churned with hunger and emotion. Part of me wanted to close my eyes, go to sleep and forget everything she had just told me. Another part felt like tearing something to pieces, bashing my fists into the wall. Olivia had suffered so much cruelty and Mother had done nothing to help her. There was no question in my mind that Mother was crazy, but there was also no question in my mind that she was evil too.

‘Shit,’ Olivia said, ‘I shouldn’t have told you all that. You’ll have nightmares for a month.’

‘No, I won’t. Don’t worry about me. I want to know everything. I need to know.’

‘Thanks, Polly.’

‘For what?’

‘For listening. I’ve never told anyone about my childhood. Even when I had the abortion and the nurses treated me like shit, I never told them what he’d done.’

‘You had an abortion?’

‘Yes. I don’t feel guilty about it. Not when it was his.’

I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing. Blackness yawned in front of me.

‘I’m married now to a wonderful man called Robert and we have twin boys, Andrew and David. They’re three.’

‘What are they like? Your sons?’

‘Lovely. A handful but lovely,’ her voice cracked. ‘Every time I think about them, my heart breaks.’

I squeezed her hand and gave her a while to compose herself. Finally, questions pushed themselves off my tongue.

‘How – er – how did she find you? What happened?’ I said, desperate to know but equally desperate to take her mind off her sons. She sounded like she was about to break.

Her voice trembled. She cleared her throat and sniffed. ‘I was stupid enough to come back here. I don’t know why I did it. I think it was because I finally felt almost normal again. No one told me to do it. I just came. I’d been thinking about doing it for a long time and it was a nice day for April. The boys were at their grandparents’ and Robert was at work. Work finished early, so I drove here. I only live an hour’s drive away.