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Chapters (50)
  1. Praise
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright Page
  4. Dedication
  5. Epigraph
  6. The Awful Truth
  7. The Life
  8. Make That Four
  9. Heaven, or: Last April at the Frick
  10. New Punch Line
  11. The J-Mart Employee of the Year Pleads His Case
  12. Reminder
  13. Auto-Nav
  14. Our Greatest Hit Hits Again, or: Who Is the Rat Burglar?
  15. I’m the Mang?
  16. Me vs. the Goldfish
  17. Size Matters
  18. Life of Crime
  19. I High-Beam the Dream
  20. What the Covet Girl Tells Me
  21. How Memory Harvesting Can Save Your Life
  22. The Sound of Our Future Together
  23. Bullet by Bullet
  24. The Effects of Drinking and Dosing
  25. A Bra Tells the Truth
  26. Gun Therapy
  27. WWPD: What Would Pinkerton Do?
  28. The Nakamura Job
  29. The Treachery of Images
  30. Herk to the Rescue
  31. The Truth About Herkimer
  32. The Polecat
  33. Do I or Don’t I?
  34. The World I Know Nothing About
  35. Kong’s Price
  36. Bathroom Talk
  37. Good Start
  38. Reunited
  39. Baconmouth
  40. Teamwork
  41. A Picture of Loveliness
  42. The Forty-fifth Murder
  43. The Unreachable
  44. Ambiguity
  45. Exit
  46. Sacrifice
  47. Otto Starks, Supernova
  48. Snitching
  49. Clean Getaway
  50. Acknowledgements

“There’s an equipment room this way. If I’m going to get the Nakamura sword back I’m going to need gear. And I can’t go to my apartment now.”

Kong says, “This isn’t easy, people. Move.”

From the exit comes a grinding sound of hydraulic tug-of-war. The door inches out of the pocket and then retracts.

“No way,” I say. “We’re getting out of here.”

“The sword isn’t just a sword,” she says, almost pleading.

“What does that mean?”

“It’s got a microchip hidden in its hilt that has the tracker code of every single cargo box from the Saqueador.”

For a second I don’t know what she’s talking about, but then I remember. I also finally understand why Nakamura was willing to pay for a solo and floater—eight-fig treatment for a six-fig item: the sword is a treasure map to art worth hundreds of millions of dollars. All of which is already crated up for your convenience.

“It’s a Portuguese freighter carrying twenty thousand pieces of looted Iraqi art and—”

“I know what it is.”

“You do? But then you must understand that I have to—”

“I don’t care. We’re going through that door right now.”

I yank on her hand. She yanks back, hard. The specter of physicality crackles in the air between us. Charlie’s shoulders tense. My jaw vises together. I am very aware of the handcuffs in my pocket.

And the gun.

“Otto, I love you. I’m sorry I lied to you. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever done. I hate myself for it. I’m going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I promise. But I have to do this.”

“You’re not getting the sword,” I say tightly.

Behind her the door is in spasm. It closes halfway, seizes, then opens again.

Kong says, “Hurry up, idiots.”

“I know I’m overmatched,” Charlie says. “I’m not at my best. But I have to try.”

“You’re not going to.”

“I have to, Otto. Please understand.”

“It’s over, Charlie.”

I hold up the button. The light is blinking.

“I pressed it two minutes ago.”

She gives me a look that knifes into my heart. Her eyes goggle in pain at the blinking light. From her mouth comes a gasp that sounds like ripping fabric.

Unbeknownst to my tortured senses, a third party is present. As I am busy encoding forever the terrible vision of Charlie apprehending my betrayal, I do not perceive Herkimer until it is too late. The first I know of his propinquity is the blur of his fist smashing her cheek. Charlie, already doubled over, crumples to her knees. Before I can do anything more than emit a gurgle of shock, a punch precipitates me to the floor.