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Chapters (50)
  1. Praise
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright Page
  4. Dedication
  5. Epigraph
  6. The Awful Truth
  7. The Life
  8. Make That Four
  9. Heaven, or: Last April at the Frick
  10. New Punch Line
  11. The J-Mart Employee of the Year Pleads His Case
  12. Reminder
  13. Auto-Nav
  14. Our Greatest Hit Hits Again, or: Who Is the Rat Burglar?
  15. I’m the Mang?
  16. Me vs. the Goldfish
  17. Size Matters
  18. Life of Crime
  19. I High-Beam the Dream
  20. What the Covet Girl Tells Me
  21. How Memory Harvesting Can Save Your Life
  22. The Sound of Our Future Together
  23. Bullet by Bullet
  24. The Effects of Drinking and Dosing
  25. A Bra Tells the Truth
  26. Gun Therapy
  27. WWPD: What Would Pinkerton Do?
  28. The Nakamura Job
  29. The Treachery of Images
  30. Herk to the Rescue
  31. The Truth About Herkimer
  32. The Polecat
  33. Do I or Don’t I?
  34. The World I Know Nothing About
  35. Kong’s Price
  36. Bathroom Talk
  37. Good Start
  38. Reunited
  39. Baconmouth
  40. Teamwork
  41. A Picture of Loveliness
  42. The Forty-fifth Murder
  43. The Unreachable
  44. Ambiguity
  45. Exit
  46. Sacrifice
  47. Otto Starks, Supernova
  48. Snitching
  49. Clean Getaway
  50. Acknowledgements

“For a long time we worked together for another guy, Giardinelli. He’d let us sell to whoever we liked. It was no problem for Charlie to return works to where they belonged.”

“What a relief.”

“But then Azar killed Giardinelli and wiped out his organization. Azar was the only game in town. She couldn’t get jobs without him.”

“Bullshit. She could be a tither.”

“And sell back to the insurance companies? Who return works to their ‘owners’? You’re missing the whole point of her work, Otto.” I scowl uselessly at him. “If she wanted to be able to return these stolen works to their original countries, she had to sign up with Azar. I told her not to—I told her to retire—but she didn’t listen to me.”

“This is crap already. No way does Azar let her sell to those countries. They’re always the lowest bidder, right?”

“He made her do other jobs. Non-Polecat jobs. She was basically working two full-time jobs with two different identities.”

“And somehow she still found time to teach, to set me up for imprisonment, and to poison the hell out of me. Remarkable woman.”

“She spent the last year finding ways not to poison you. Why do you think she used the Kolokol-9? The oxonone? They’re nonlethals. And the pachylax? It’s not even a toxin. It only incapacitated you. She was trying to keep you safe.”

“She found out about my vulnerability to Nix. And used it.”

“No she didn’t. She kept reporting to Azar that you had no weaknesses—including Nix—but then Jimmy found your journal in your locker. Azar ordered her to use the Nix on the Inanna vases, but she didn’t. Nor the K’plua. She just couldn’t.”

“Very noble.”

“After the K’plua she went to Azar. She leveled with him. She said they’d had a good partnership. She had restored many works and she had earned him a lot of money, but now she wanted out. She begged him. She told him she loved you and couldn’t do it.

“Azar said, ‘Is there nothing I can do to change your mind?’ She said no, she had made up her mind. And he said O.K.”

“That doesn’t sound like Azar.”

“No it doesn’t. But it’s what he said. And you should have seen her. Otto, I’ve never seen anyone so happy. She couldn’t stop smiling. She kept hugging people. But the next day she got a package. Inside was her father’s finger and a note that said ‘Are you sure I can’t do anything to change your mind?’”

“Oh God,” I say, comprehending. “It wasn’t a car accident....”