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Chapters (50)
  1. Praise
  2. Title Page
  3. Copyright Page
  4. Dedication
  5. Epigraph
  6. The Awful Truth
  7. The Life
  8. Make That Four
  9. Heaven, or: Last April at the Frick
  10. New Punch Line
  11. The J-Mart Employee of the Year Pleads His Case
  12. Reminder
  13. Auto-Nav
  14. Our Greatest Hit Hits Again, or: Who Is the Rat Burglar?
  15. I’m the Mang?
  16. Me vs. the Goldfish
  17. Size Matters
  18. Life of Crime
  19. I High-Beam the Dream
  20. What the Covet Girl Tells Me
  21. How Memory Harvesting Can Save Your Life
  22. The Sound of Our Future Together
  23. Bullet by Bullet
  24. The Effects of Drinking and Dosing
  25. A Bra Tells the Truth
  26. Gun Therapy
  27. WWPD: What Would Pinkerton Do?
  28. The Nakamura Job
  29. The Treachery of Images
  30. Herk to the Rescue
  31. The Truth About Herkimer
  32. The Polecat
  33. Do I or Don’t I?
  34. The World I Know Nothing About
  35. Kong’s Price
  36. Bathroom Talk
  37. Good Start
  38. Reunited
  39. Baconmouth
  40. Teamwork
  41. A Picture of Loveliness
  42. The Forty-fifth Murder
  43. The Unreachable
  44. Ambiguity
  45. Exit
  46. Sacrifice
  47. Otto Starks, Supernova
  48. Snitching
  49. Clean Getaway
  50. Acknowledgements

“You couldn’t, dumbass. You’re going to get one shot at this. Literally. And you have to put it in his back. If he turns around and has a chance to make some move, he will. And Vegas won’t be betting on you, you know what I mean? Not even the long odds. Got it?”

“O.K.,” I say sheepishly. “Sure. In the back. Right.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Right. O.K.”

After an angry interval, Herk says, “Am I going to regret switching positions with you?”

“No, no. Go on. Float. I’ve got the room. I’ve got the gun. I’ll get the Rat Burglar. Just like we talked about. No problem.” I make some bang-bang gestures as reassurance. He doesn’t look convinced, but he slaps me on the back, manufactures a wink for my benefit, and heads off to fill my floater rounds.

When he’s gone I hunker down into my hiding place and wait. My jaw aches and I keep wishing that Charlie were here to rub it. Then I feel guilty for being enough of a sucker to miss her. Then I feel guilty about feeling guilty and I pop a handful of synthesized Amanita phalloides to sting myself out of it, but it doesn’t work. There’s probably not enough sting in the whole bottle for that.

I try to do some non-Charlie memory harvesting but the only thing I can think of is Nunes and Schermer. Something has been bothering me since the conversation I had with Nunes by the river. If Schermer is not the mang—if he’s not up to anything more sinister than his usual assholery—then who fixed the scores on the comps? And if Schermer is the mang, why would he try to get me off the Nakamura job in the first place? On one hand, it makes sense that he would want me off the job because I’m the most accomplished pulse at Janus, but on the other hand I do seem to be the favorite target, don’t I? Why would the Rat Burglar spend the last year dosing me with nonlethals only to push me off a job now?

Or is it all just happenstance?

Was Schermer snickering in the parking lot a coincidence?

My presence on the Nakamura job itself is confusing. If Schermer is cleared of any charges, why didn’t he get reinstated on this gig? Why didn’t Po-Mo pull me from the job? And why hasn’t he asked me to make good on my promise to resign?

Hasn’t Nunes told him that I’m still her prom date?

Shouldn’t she be very interested in keeping me far away from all MacGuffins?

Yes she should. Unless she’s the Rat Burglar, that is, and this is part of some set-up.

But what are the chances of that?