“Yeah,” Decker said. “You looked up, came halfway out of the Jeep…Then it all came down. Boom! Chaos! I jumped out of the Jeep…Stiller, the Bagman, and DeMarcos had come with me…Stiller was driving…I rushed over to you…”

Decker stopped a moment, stared at his lap, and shook his head.

“God, it was a friggin’ mess! So much smoke…my eyes were tearing like crazy, my nose was clogged from the stench of burning…rubber.”

“Flesh,” Abel said.

“Man, that, too…Your stump…gushing buckets…and you’d been diced by flying pieces of metal. Just…bleeding all over the place.

“I treated you while the others…Fuck, I don’t know what the others were doing…I remember DeMarcos wanting to level the village. Man, I was tending to you and trying to prevent DeMarcos from making another My Lai. The village was supposed to be one full of friendlies…who the fuck knew…then Stiller came out of the blue, dragging out Song…talking about raping her—”

“I didn’t hear that,” Abel said.

“Man, you were so doped up, you didn’t know what was flying. I must have shot you with…God, must have been three ampules of morph. A wonder you didn’t OD on the spot…I was so friggin’ scared. Your face, Abe…gone. Gray and cold. That look when you know they’re one step away from the other side. I managed to control the bleeding, but shock had set in….”

Decker pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and took a long drag. He felt sweat running down his neck and back; his body was hot and sticky.

“Stiller began yanking off Song’s clothes. I told him don’t…or stop. He started screaming at me, calling me…I don’t know…a nip lover or something like that…saying I was as bad as you…just mouthing off garbage. Meanwhile, DeMarcos must have shoved a magazine into his sixteen. He started busting some caps…peeling off shots at the huts. Then Stiller…he must have dragged Song over to you and me. He put a Magnum to her head.

“God’s honest truth, next thing I know the Magnum’s in my hand…I remember feeling cold steel…I looked down…” Decker stared at his right hand as if he’d never seen it before. “I’m holding the fucking gun! Must have been the Bagman…must have been. He must have taken it out of Stiller’s hand and put it in mine, ’cause as God is my witness, I didn’t grab it or take it or anything like that. Then the Bagman…he says, ‘You do it. Abe was your best buddy, man.’ Past tense. They’re talking about you like you’re dead.”

Decker stuffed the cigarette into his mouth and sucked on it so hard, the smoke singed his throat.