Most of us were born into a world in which the idea of a pet dog is normal, but not so many years ago, the entire idea was pretty absurd. While dogs may have been pets on a relative scale in various cultures throughout history, the practice of bringing them into our homes as captive full-time consumers and family members is far more recent. It is also mostly unique to modern developed countries like the United States. The entire pet industry has emerged—and subsequently exploded—in little more than sixty years, feeding an impractical and unrealistic perception of the dogs in our lives in order to attract our attention to their more marketable “needs.”

In 2016, Americans spent over 62 billion dollars on their pets, a figure projected to keep growing by leaps and bounds. A Pet Industrial Complex has emerged to cater to the billions of dollars consumers are willing to spend—from beef-flavored Prozac to smocked dresses and spa treatments for dogs.

Endless gourmet treats and toys, day-care visits, dog-park playdates, personal groomers and trainers, and better medical and dental care than many Americans receive—these are the standard amenities for many pet dogs. Born, as most of us were, into this pet-dog era, we rarely question these preconceptions and practices.

In recent times, dog behavior problems have become increasingly common and severe, with communities struggling to navigate everything from bites and lawsuits to overcrowded shelters filled with unwanted dogs. This means that certain myths about the needs and natures of our so-called pet dogs need to be examined. Every day in my practice, I pass a box of tissues to another desperate dog lover sharing deep frustrations and heartache in their first consultation. A few examples:

1. Wally cracked a tooth breaking out of the crate and destroyed the Persian rug and new designer curtains, so Donna and her husband have given up date nights and Sunday drives in order to take turns babysitting the dog 24-7 and to help cover the bills.
2. Buddy and Boomer have been fighting so much that they have to be separated at all times and can no longer be walked together. This doubles the amount of time Ron spends trudging around the neighborhood in the dead of winter waiting for the dogs to pee instead of helping the kids with their homework.
3. No one in Patty’s house has had a full night’s sleep since they brought Dolly back to Manhattan after that trip to the Smoky Mountains. Her howling at sirens has resulted in three noise violations in three weeks.
4. Leroy won’t let Lexi’s new boyfriend back in the bed at 3 a.m..; she had to remove the little snarling beast from his arm two nights ago. The guy has, understandably, dropped a few sour hints that she needs to choose between him and the dog.