You are determined to fill his cup in life with everything you’ve got. You are going to take him to that new dog adventure park you heard about so he can try his hand at tracking in the woods and swimming in the lake. Those hiking shoes and that trail map are coming out of the closet again. You want to help him find his natural calling and satisfy his instincts. But you also know that, most of your days, the best you will be able to do is take him along in the neighborhood and do what you can to let him live it up. You may not always be able to get him back into his element in the fields and forests from which he came, but you sure can appreciate and try to accommodate the culture shock he’s very likely having every time he walks down the street in your twenty-first-century town. He can get used to it all, and even learn to relax and enjoy it all with you. But he needs your constant understanding, guidance, and protection in order to do so.

In the Family

As fundamentally social animals, whoever we end up sharing our lives and homes with become critical elements of our overall environment. Inside of any family, the members are stuck in the same boat whether they like it or not. Whether it’s a family of two or twelve, these fellow passengers instinctively sense that they are dependent on each other in some quintessential way. Some of our dogs needed to live in big social groups in order to hunt larger game and protect territories successfully, while others made a better living by breaking off into smaller and far less structured alliances in order to scavenge dispersed food sources such as garbage—not exactly requiring the benefits of larger numbers for a takedown of big game.

In the last century, dogs have increasingly found themselves in an entirely new kind of social environment, one barely resembling those of their ancestral past. As our “pets,” dogs are in fixed, captive, mixed-species social groups comprised of whatever people and pets we allow to share our home. These are not packs. Nor is this the life of the free-roaming village dogs found all over the world.

All in all, our dogs are pretty darn amenable to what we have thrown at them. They don’t speak the same language as most of their shipmates, and have entirely different customs and habits. Most of them have lost all of their independence, their freedom, their careers, and their autonomous ability to pursue their own interests. Nonetheless they are generally very tolerant of others on board, have great attitudes about disagreements, and are relatively flexible about change.

But being in such close quarters, your dog can’t help but be affected by the state of his crew. A bad mood, a fight with your sweetheart, or a stressful day on the job can all make him feel as if his world isn’t right. These life events of yours mean big changes in all of your behaviors and signals, and that can mean big changes for him. In many ways, your trials and tribulations are his, too.