Some kinds of dogs will handle these expectations better than others. Some have been selectively bred for social complacency and merriment. But most have not. The majority of dogs in the population maintain the natural awareness of and concern for personal space and property, regard for the etiquette of introductions, and the value of minding one’s own business. Others have been bred for suspicion and caution toward strange people and animals. Your dog should be allowed, as any member of our community should, to have his own personal space respected by other people and dogs when he goes out with his family. You shouldn’t lose any sleep because that tenant accosted your dog and got growled at for it, after you asked her not to pet him. And you shouldn’t buy into the label “aggressive” that the vet gave him, just because he was cornered and frightened by a strange dog in his least favorite establishment as he anxiously awaited his exam.

What you should do, however, is recognize how desperately he needs you to navigate the terrain of these obstacles and expectations for him. He needs you to recognize the fact that he is far from impervious to the conditions of this modern world. Just because he is affectionate with you and your mom’s little Dachshund doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with him for not wanting to cuddle a group of old ladies or play with the Boxer puppy at the park.

You can give him and yourself permission to not “say hi.” You can rein him in and walk away when you see obnoxiously friendly dogs and people approaching, stand between him and the invasive two- and four-legged animals, and protect him from their reach. You can teach him how to take a back seat (figuratively “hold his hand” by keeping him close to you) and let you make the decisions about these things; teach him to trust you to handle life. You can show him how to behave on the street, at the café, and in the park in order to keep everybody happy and relaxed. You can have his back at all times. There is no need for you to feel guilty about protecting him from those uncomfortable, awkward, and stressful moments by keeping him close by under your wing as you cross paths with others on your adventures. He has every right to get out of the house and be a dog without fear of constant, albeit unintentional, harassment.

And if you happen to have one of those insanely outgoing, friendly, gregarious dogs who just wants to be everybody’s best friend and has never met a stranger, that’s great, too. But please know that your dog is actually the exception to the rule. His friendliness on the leash can be read by other dogs as threatening, even if he’s only straining at the end of the leash in his great enthusiasm to make a new friend. You can do all your neighborhood dogs and owners a big favor and make sure to ask first before you let your dog introduce himself. Being a conscientious citizen about the natural, and perfectly acceptable, differences between dogs will mean more than you can possibly imagine to your fellow dog walkers on the road. For they all need—and deserve—to have an active life they can enjoy in peace.