You can and should, however, provide learning experiences that will influence her behavior. You are the one with the opposable thumbs, upright posture, and bigger brain. These things give you the ability to navigate a modern life filled with doors, latches, cars, and money for the family. Because of this, you do have to be the one taking the lead—not unlike how a parent does for their child. She is simply not equipped to navigate the restrictions and demands of a pet life and make good decisions on her own. She needs you to be proactive. Though you should work diligently to create as many appropriate opportunities as possible for her to make choices and have control, there will be many circumstances in which her own ideas could get her into big trouble.

Learning is not an event; it is a constant process, and it is your responsibility to foster experiences that will be beneficial to her perpetual learning. Each of those small mental notes she takes (“coming” to you when you call from the bathroom is a bad idea because you only call her in there when it is doggy bath time) and every big learning moment (particularly the traumatic ones in which her very life seems to be in danger) can deeply influence her perceptions and reactions down the road. She needs you to help her to make sense of it all.

The “Good” Dog

When you think of all the things you have read about dog training and behavior, all the advice you have ever sought (or been given against your will, whether by neighbors on morning walks or the in-laws on holiday visits), what does the conversation usually revolve around? People endlessly debate how to “teach a dog who is boss”; whether one can “teach an old dog new tricks”; the best way to “teach him not to jump”; and which “training methods” are best. We’ve been taught to believe that, with the right techniques and enough determination, we can almost train a fish to fly or a bird to swim.

While we chase the elusive holy grail of dog training techniques that will finally solve all of our problems and make our dog “good,” we are missing more obvious and commonsense facts right under our noses. We often fail to notice the real conditions that make “obedience” to our directions impossible, and end up punishing the dog for what is out of his control. The dog fails because we are unwittingly neglecting certain factors influencing his behavior. We get frustrated and embarrassed as the neighbors look on, feeling that we are being judged for not being able to control our dog. This is because we have been taught to believe many silly cultural myths about the way our dog learns.

Three Useless Myths about the “Good” Dog

MYTH #1: There is a magic dog training method. We just have to find it, so we can have a “good” dog!