“What’s the matter?” Rogers called across the dining hall.

“I can’t get it up,” Deet called back.

At least two of the people at the table nearly choked on their food. For some really absurd reason, Rogers felt himself blushing. He hurriedly got up from the table and walked over to where Deet was standing.

“What do you mean?” Rogers asked.

“It’s my data cable,” Deet said. “It’s been damaged. I didn’t realize until now since I haven’t had to use it, but this piece of FECAL MATTER won’t come out to connect to the ports.”

“Oh,” Rogers said. He knelt down, feeling around on the ground where the connection ports were, and opened the little hinged panel. Adjacent to the actual plugs was a backup wire that extended from a small coil in the ground. Hoping his many years of playing with electronics and not dying would prevent him from getting a shock, Rogers uncurled the cable and handed it to Deet.

“Here,” Rogers said. “Stick this in you.”

More snickers came from his table.

“Oh, grow up!” Rogers shouted.

“What’s their problem?” Deet asked as he plugged into the cable and put the datapad down on the table.

“Nothing,” Rogers said. “Sometimes, I forget how little you droids understand about, um, human reproductive habits.”

“We have a Freudian Chip,” Deet explained. “To us, it’s all cable envy.”

“Right.” Rogers stood up. “How is it going? Were you able to access the network?”

Deet was quiet for a moment. Someone came out of the exit door to the kitchen, holding a single piece of bread that wasn’t in any way, shape, or form marred by mold or mechanical lubricants, and fell to his knees sobbing. Rogers understood how he felt. If someone had handed him a bottle of Jasker 120 or turned on the beer light, that’s about how he’d react right about now.

“It looks like a network,” Deet said, “but it’s definitely not the ship’s main network.”

Rogers frowned. “What do you mean by that? Is it a backup system, maybe? Were the droids coming in here to store backup data and charge their battery reserves?”

“I don’t really know,” Deet said. “It’s hard to describe. I can tell that I’m in a network, but I can’t really tell what network I’m in.”

“I think I understand what you mean,” Rogers said.

Deet looked at him and beeped confusedly. “How could you possibly understand what it’s like to be in a network but not know what network you’re in?”

Rogers chuckled. “There’s a street on Merida Prime that has almost a full mile of bars stacked right next to each other like townhouses. By the time you get a quarter of the way down, you start to understand what you’re talking about.”

“Have you ever considered the possibility that you may have a drinking problem?”

“I drink just fine, thank you.”

Rogers looked back wistfully at the Viking, who was laughing heartily with Mailn, a piece of protein cardboard stuck to the bottom of her lip. Even though it was a piece of a SEWR rat, Rogers wished he could reach his own lips out and help her brush it off.