Before Deet could answer the question, he vanished from the doorway in a sudden blur. A loud crunching noise echoed throughout the empty hallway.

“What the hell?” Rogers grabbed the side of his wardrobe and pushed off to get back to the door. He landed smoothly on the other side, slowing himself down by jogging for a few steps—a move he’d invented yesterday that made him feel kind of like an action hero crashing through a window—and looked around the hallway. He barely saw a flash of metal disappearing behind the corner leading back toward the up-line and the other end of the command deck.

“Hey!” Rogers broke into a trot and turned the corner just in time to see a pair of tracked-variety droids attempting to shove Deet into the garbage chute. Deet was beeping loudly, his eyes flashing between blue and red.

“Get your EXPLETIVE hands off me, you MATERNAL FORNICATORS! I’ll rip off your REPRODUCTIVE ORGAN and PERFORM NAMESAKE OF BIBLICAL CITY!”

“What the hell are you doing with my droid? Stop!” Rogers said. The two droids that had been trying to unceremoniously stuff Deet into the garbage chute stopped, though they didn’t let him go. The poor reassembled droid—who was significantly smaller than the two standard droids, thanks to the recycled parts available and Rogers rushed workmanship—hung there waving his arms frantically.

“CALL FUNCTION [EXPLAIN AWKWARD SITUATION]. OUTPUT STRING: DROID PFC-D-24 HAS BEEN SCHEDULED FOR DESTRUCTION.”

“He’s not scheduled for destruction,” Rogers said. “He’s actually already been destroyed.”

“OUTPUT STRING: THIS DOES NOT COMPUTE.”

“That’s because you’re stupid,” Rogers said. “How are you going to destroy something that’s already been destroyed? That’s logically impossible.”

The two droids holding Deet made some very emphatic noises. For a moment, they seemed frozen. Rogers took a step forward.

“CALL FUNCTION [CONTINUE WITH PRIMARY MISSION].”

“Stop!” Rogers said. “Neither of you droids outrank me. I’ve looked at the new rank and organization regulation MR-613. You are legally obligated to follow my orders.”

Rogers hadn’t read the regulation—in fact, he hadn’t read any regulation in ten years—but the statement gave the droids pause. They looked between Rogers and Deet, clearly confused.

“I’m telling you that D-24 has already been destroyed,” Rogers said. “You can’t do it again. You’d violate Schrödinger’s principle of entanglement. This droid cannot be both destroyed and not destroyed at the same time.”

Rogers was almost positive that Schrödinger hadn’t said anything like that, but the droids didn’t seem to know the difference. That, and Rogers was on a roll; if there was one thing he’d learned during his life, it was to never stop when he was on a roll.

“By attempting to destroy him again, you are trying to bend the fabric of truth and space,” Rogers said. “You are threatening to tear apart the very fabric of time. Is that something that droids are supposed to do?”

“CALL FUNCTION [LOOK CONFUSED].”

“Right. You’re causing yourself—and me—undue confusion by re-destroying this droid. In fact, your primary mission has already been completed. It was completed before it was even assigned to you. I will see that you are commended for your timely carrying-out of your instructions. Excellently done.”