It was too damn hard.

“Taste this,” Bev insisted, grabbing a straw off the bar and inserting it into the drink.

I took a sip and winced. “Yuck,” I said as soon as the sharp taste of tequila mixed with Coke hit my tongue.

Bev raised an eyebrow and chuckled. “I know I haven’t been bartending much longer than you have, but I can’t say I’ve poured a lot of tequila Cokes in my time.”

She was the most chill boss I’d ever had. She never berated me for making mistakes or threatened to fire me over my obvious lack of skills. She was no pushover, but she took everything in stride. It made the fact that the rest of my life wasn’t going so great right now feel a little less sucky.

“My bad,” I said, hurriedly grabbing a new glass and double-checking that the bottle I picked up was indeed whiskey before pouring the drink. “I’m having an off day.”

Bev gave me a gentle, understanding smile, the corners of her eyes creasing a little. Bev had quickly made me feel right at home here. Even though it was Mattie who’d married into her family and not me, I still felt like she was my extended aunt or something.

Bev gave my shoulder a squeeze before dropping her hand. “Mattie told me you didn’t get a job or something like that?”

“Of course she did.” My stomach soured that Bev already knew about my rejection. The interview I’d spent the entire week preparing for—the only one I’d been granted since applying—had already sent me an email this morning, letting me know I wouldn’t be moving on to the next round. Despite the fact that I had answered every question flawlessly, made polite small talk, and that I was overqualified for the role. None of that had been enough.

“Their loss,” Bev said, taking in my forlorn expression.

I’d already spent the morning distraught and crying over this. I refused to tear up again, especially not in such a public setting. I had to keep it together.

“That’s nice of you to say, but you don’t even know me that well.” I sounded small, but all this rejection was starting to take its toll on me. Bev’s kind eyes made me feel like I could just curl up into a ball in her presence.

“I know enough,” she said, leaning against the bar. “And I know what those God-awful corporations are like. Enough of them have tried to purchase this lodge over the years. It’s always the same. A bunch of out-of-touch older men whose only personality trait is their career. You should wear it like a badge of honor that you don’t fit in there.”

I opened my mouth to protest but quickly shut it. I didn’t want to see the disappointment in Bev’s eyes when I explained that I, in fact, fit in perfectly with that crowd. Or at least, I used to.

“Thanks,” I said instead, desperately needing this conversation to end.