“This isn’t fair,” I whispered.

My whole life, I’d been on this hamster wheel, honed in on a single direction. Now that I had veered slightly off course, getting back on track felt nearly impossible. How was I supposed to turn and walk away from him? He’d changed my life for the better. He made me happy—being here in this town made me happy.

But how could I stay? How could I give it all up?

“Frankie,” he whispered, his eyes scanning mine as if in pain. “Trust me, if I could, I’d be yours. No question about it. But you’re bigger than me. You’re meant for more.”

That made me cry harder.

“Hey,” he said gently, but when I pulled away to look at him, I saw that his eyes were wet too. “No crying, okay? Tomorrow is our last day together and I want to see your smile so much it’s permanently ingrained in my brain.”

I sniffled.

“Okay?”

“Okay,” I said.

“Now come on.” He jerked his head toward the rest of the playground. “When else are we going to get to play on one of these things without any judgy mothers staring us down?”

We were off, climbing on monkey bars and sliding down slides. Only Oliver could have me smiling so much it hurt, while simultaneously still feeling the dry, cracked tears on my cheeks.

Was this what love felt like? It had to be.

Ever since his accident, when I’d seen him all vulnerable in that hospital bed, I was pretty sure it was love. Now I was certain.

Those three little words swam around inside my mouth—like they could gush out at any second, but I held them back. They’d only cause more pain. I couldn’t tell him I loved him right before we said goodbye. It wasn’t even the fact that I was worried he might not say them back. It was the fact that if I said them, I was worried I might never be able to let him go.

THIRTY-TWO

Oliver

“You had to outdo yourself, huh?” Frankie asked as we piled into the small cart set into a metal track.

Lately, our relationship had revolved heavily around healing, support, and letting each other in. But that wasn’t where it had started. It had all started with fun. And what better way to end our time together than barreling down on a mountain coaster on a beautiful spring day?

“I figured I wouldn’t be cruel and force you to do a physical activity on your last day here.”

She sat between my legs, and I squeezed her tight as we fastened our seatbelts.

“I’m worried I might go into adrenaline withdrawal without you checking up on me,” she said.

The employee ran through a few safety instructions before sending us down the hill. Frankie squealed almost immediately as our speed increased and the trees whizzed by us.

“Press the brakes!” she demanded. “This is too fast!”

“Life is too short for brakes!” I yelled, laughing as gusts of air breezed against our faces, whipping our hair back.