I closed my eyes, pressed them shut with my fingers until all I could see were coloured spots and patterns like chessboards and the tiles in the big book of Islamic architecture Baba hardly ever let me get down off the shelf. The kettle started to hiss.

‘I’ve worked with people.’

‘You sell shoes. I mean, granted – to the same sort of clientele,’ he laughed, ‘but come on, Sana – it hardly counts as experience.’

The way he said it. I felt all protective suddenly, of the shop and the ugly sandals and slippers with ergonomic insoles, and all the people who just wanted to be comfortable. The loose skin on their feet and the bunions and big dark veins. I grabbed the paper, held it right against my face, as if that would help the words to crawl into my brain, and come out perfectly.

‘It says here… experience preferred… but not essential as full training will be given.’

He grabbed it back. ‘They’ll treat you like crap, Sana. Have you seen the hours? This is a vocation, not something you just wake up one day and decide to do.’

‘Why don’t you just say that you think I’m uncapable?’

‘Incapable you mean? And no I don’t think that. We’ve been through this. If you really want a change I can help you with the exams. I can enter you as an independent candidate. Once you have the English and Maths, there’ll be so many more options to look at.’

I shook my head. Bloody tears. Just the thought of it. The test booklets and the clock ticking and the questions blurring into one. Ewan repeating all the rules. Don’t spend too long on one section. Always check how many points it’s worth. Remember to put a line through your working out. Plan your answers. Don’t panic, just concentrate and show that you’ve understood. Make sure you’ve read the question properly.

‘You can’t just give up, Sana!’

‘I’m not giving up. I’m looking into other possibilities.’

‘Fine.’ He put his cereal bowl into the sink so carefully it didn’t make a sound. He started to walk to the door, picked up his bag and coat then doubled back.

‘Just don’t expect me to help with the application.’

‘I won’t.’

‘And don’t come running to me in a few months complaining that you’d rather be measuring their feet again, instead of wiping their arses.’