If I’d dropped Alex off at the door like usual, I’d be none the wiser. If I hadn’t popped in to leave the Avon catalogue, and seen the mess in the hall, I’d be at the restaurant now on my third Bellini. I lean on the bannister, close my eyes and focus on my breathing. Sniff my fingertips. It’s still there – bergamot, geranium and clary sage. An anti-stress blend. For a minute it drives everything out. The murmur of the TV from downstairs. I don’t think about the wasted French manicure, don’t notice the state of the carpet. I open her bedroom door as quietly as I can. She’s asleep, or pretending to be, curled up on her side facing away from me towards the window.

When I go downstairs Alex is sprawled across the full length of the sofa. He’s watching a nature programme. Something about rainforests. A parrot moving its arse back and forth in an attempt to attract a mate.

‘Can you turn it down for a minute?’ I say.

He doesn’t move.

‘Alex!’

‘What?’

‘Turn it down!’

He sits up and passes me the remote. I put it on mute and balance on the arm of the chair next to him. He angles himself away, pretending to be really interested in the fringe on the footstool.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ I say. He doesn’t move. I want to shake him but I sit on my hands and try to be patient.

‘Answer me, Alex.’

‘Tell you what?’

‘How bad things are with your Nan.’

‘I did.’

‘No, you didn’t.’

‘I told you I didn’t want to come here anymore.’

‘You said you were old enough to stay in on your own. You didn’t say anything about this.’

He rolls his eyes.

‘What?’

‘You never listen,’ he says.

His voice is all wobbly. He’s embarrassed and when I try to put my arms around him he pushes me away. How could I have missed so many signs? How could I not have seen that something was wrong?

He covers the side of his face with his hand. All elbows and knees. I should leave him alone, I know I should. But I have to explain.

‘We’ll sort it,’ I say, ‘we’ll make sure she’s alright.’

He shrugs.

‘No, really,’ I say, ‘I haven’t been around a lot lately and you’ve been here too much and it must’ve been hard. But I thought you’d take care of each other. You always liked coming here. And it’s only a couple more months until I’m qualified. Things will be different. I can earn extra. Maybe even stop working at the shop and start my own business.’

‘Great. Stinking the house out and massaging strangers in the living room.’

‘Alex!’

‘Well, it’s true isn’t it?’