Then she lifted me head up, made me look her in the eyes. ‘Promise me,’ she said. ‘Promise me, William. If dem let the children come, don’t let dem near the front. Promise me. No matter what. No matter what. If me see dem, me going break. And there is nuttin’ on this earth going let backra break me.’

‘Me promise, Stella. Me promise.’

She got up on her knees, held her hands together. Held them high, closed her eyes and started to pray. Was the first time I noticed she trembling and her shirt wet from sweat. Then she lifted up her voice, called out, her voice bouncing round the gaol cell walls.

‘Lawd, give me strength. Give me strength. The strength you always give me before. Come stand by me. Stand by me in this time of need, like you promise you going do.’ Then she made me get on me knees too. Grabbed at me hands, put them together.

‘Pray for me, William,’ she said. ‘Pray for me every day.’

‘Me praying. Me praying now,’ and the tears started to flood me eyes.

‘Pray me going to a better place,’ twisting and turning her hands, not seeing she twisted and turned mine too. ‘A place without chains, without them chains wrapped round me sore and tired heart.’

‘Freedom going be yours,’ was all I could muster, wishing for it to be true.

‘And when the time come, stand somewhere close.’ She hugged me up. ‘Somewhere plenty close. Somewhere me can look into you eyes. And you must look back into mine. But you must never waver, no matter what. You hear me, William?’ holding me face in her hands, the tears falling down both our faces. ‘You must not waver. No matter what backra do to me. You is me first born, the only thing that is truly mine, and me want you to be the last living thing me see on this earth.’

‘Me will, Mama. Me will.’

Then we both turned silent as the rooster crowed again. Heard the footsteps of the warden. Listened as the soldiers got closer and closer marching towards the cell. Stella let go of me hands, wiped her tears with her skirt, turned away, no longer looked at me. Set up a barrier between us like I was no longer there.

The warden stood outside the cell. Said not a word, just opened the iron bars and motioned for me to get out. I took one last look. Saw how Stella lifted her head with pride. How she tried to control the wild fear screaming from her eyes, before I charged out the cell and ran fast. Faster, running wild through the streets till I came to know there was nowhere to go. Is only then I remembered it was the first time in long, long time I called her Mama.

My Place