Footnote 31. This is a genuinely serious passage, O Filthy Reader. And you, swimming in your spiritual debauchery, are beyond all redemption! Pay heed now, to the serious passage, and woe to you! Thou must needs quiver in unholy dread, for the moral authorities have been notified!

Footnote 32. THIS IS A SERIOUS PASSAGE! Thou, Foul Reader, are a fiend!

Footnote 33. The passage of time is hereby measured in Edmund Years. Not to be confused with East Wind Years, which includes mummification. (Pray, what, O Reader of Readers—did you perchance consider we were about to discuss types of unmentionables?)

Footnote 34. Once more, time is measured in Edmund Years.

Footnote 35. In the quantum physics sense, begging pardon for the futurism, O Erudite Reader.

Footnote 36. End of Edmund Years. Normal time flow resumes.

Footnote 37. A refractory period often follows Edmund Years, wherein can be experienced symptoms of temporal lag and disorientation.

Footnote 38. Time travel.

Footnote 39. Extreme makeover time travel.

Footnote 40. Ah! the Hapless Author is blinded like Cyclops, Oedipus, Homer, and all the great blind ancients put together. The image!—nay, the very thought of such a connexion is inconceivable! Hopeless Reader, Thou hast sunk into the Great Pit from whence there is no return!

Footnote 41. In the name of all moral authority, you are hereby placed under arrest! Do not resist, and come peaceably.

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