She looks into me. Telepathy. She’s asking, What exactly do you know? Maybe even, How much do you know?

“All of it,” I answer, and she closes her eyes. “It’s all been too much.”

One flight above us, Jonah yells, “Yo.” We look up to find him leaning over the banister, listening to our private conversation about him invading our privacy. “I wasn’t eavesdropping.”

“Oh God,” says Elizabeth. “We didn’t mean—”

“Wait,” he interrupts. “Hold on.” His head disappears. Moments later, he reappears in full coming down the stairs. “My door was open, that’s all. You guys are right, though. You’re used to your privacy. This is a lot for you.”

“Jonah,” I begin, but Elizabeth interrupts.

“We love having you here,” she says. “This is heaven for us, believe me.” She must feel me wanting to acknowledge the gaseous way Nick permeates every corner of our world, because she flexes one hand—the hand closest to me—and in this tiny gesture, a mere extension of fingers, I recognize her scaled-down reaction, subtle enough for only me to see. In her way, she is lifting an arm, cutting me off, saying, I’ll take it from here. “But you’re right in that it’s totally new for us. New is great, we just weren’t prepared. We’re adjusting.” Her outstretched hand says, I got this, and I like it.

Jonah nods. “I understand. Which is why I’m thinking of going to Mom’s for a couple of days. It’ll make her happy and will give you guys a break.”

“You shouldn’t feel unwelcome here,” I say.

Elizabeth quiets me again, saying, “He probably needs a break from us, too.”

Jonah shrugs. “Nah. Mom’s on my case, anyway. She’ll never let me hear the end of it if I don’t visit soon.”

“Do what works for you,” I say.

“I’ve got to get some crap together, but I’ll probably roll out in about half an hour.”

“Like I said, whatever you want.”

He seems oddly touched by my flexibility. “Thanks, Dad.” Then, in pure break from form, says, “Love you, man.”

We both squirm—his words as surprising for him to say as they are for me to hear—but Elizabeth elbows my abs as soon as Jonah walks away, so I say, “Yeah, you too.” Then, for good measure, “Love you too, Son,” because God knows I do.

Elizabeth nuzzles against me—moved by a touching moment between father and son, made possible by Jonah’s imminent departure. He’ll only be an hour away, but an hour is plenty. Elizabeth presses her ribs against mine, wraps her arms around my neck and latches onto me. With hot breath against my face, she tells me that she loves me.

“I know,” I say, meaning, I’ll forgive you as soon as I can.

17.