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Back Man of the Year Save as PDF
Chapters (52)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. Epigraph
  4. 1.
  5. 2.
  6. Jonah
  7. 3.
  8. 4.
  9. Luna
  10. 5.
  11. 6.
  12. 7.
  13. 8.
  14. Emily
  15. 9.
  16. 10.
  17. 11.
  18. 12.
  19. 13.
  20. 14.
  21. 15.
  22. 16.
  23. 17.
  24. 18.
  25. 19.
  26. 20.
  27. Alexis
  28. 21.
  29. 22.
  30. 23.
  31. 24.
  32. Naomi
  33. 25.
  34. 26.
  35. 27.
  36. 28.
  37. 29.
  38. 30.
  39. Simone
  40. 31.
  41. 32.
  42. 33.
  43. 34.
  44. 35.
  45. ONE MONTH LATER
  46. 36.
  47. Elizabeth
  48. Jonah
  49. Acknowledgments
  50. Readers Group Guide
  51. About the Author
  52. Copyright

And just like that, my world shatters.

“Me and Elizabeth.”

Get out, I hear in my head. Get the fuck out of my house.

I hear myself say, You’re lying.

I hear, Fuck you, too.

I can almost feel my fantasy: the sensation of my heel connecting with his face, the sound of my foot cracking his jaw—teeth knocked down his throat as I force-feed him my DNA, code passed down to him by me, life given by me. But he’ll need his jaw to tell this story, and he’s not getting off that easy, so instead I say, “I’m listening.”

33.

He begins in the worst way: “The first time was an accident.”

This can’t be happening.

“We didn’t plan it,” he reiterates. “I never even really knew her until recently. I used to hate her, actually. She’d been the thing that came between you and Mom, and I was the one who had to watch Mom fall apart every day. I didn’t live here. I was a kid. All I knew was that Elizabeth was the reason Mom was a wreck, and kids aren’t supposed to clean up messes like that. I stuck by her since you didn’t. What the hell else was I supposed to do?

“For so long, it’s like she didn’t even exist to me. She wasn’t even a person, more like an evil force. But after I went to college and you made me come back here, I didn’t have a choice but to get to know her. I didn’t want to. You understand that, right? She wasn’t the one who’d been missing from my life. You were. All those times you tried to get me to bond with Elizabeth, all I really wanted was to bond with you, Dad.

“So here I am, back in this house, you trying to force me and Elizabeth into quality time, and me with a head full of stuff I’m learning and liking in school—and maybe I’m not great at it, maybe I’m embarrassed about not being great, even—but here I come to find out Elizabeth teaches this stuff. For the very first time, we had common ground. You got your wish. She was willing to help me. I remember what started it. It was Bulgakov, remember? Remember when I brought him up last Thanksgiving?”

I shake my head.

“Well, I did. I wanted to talk with you about it, but you’d never read it, so you told me to talk to Elizabeth instead, and I hated you, Dad, for not being willing to fake it for once. Just, like, pretend to give a shit about what your own son is all about. Try to know me.”

“Don’t you dare blame me for your depravity.”