For an hour or two last night, for a minute or ten this morning, these circumstances felt possible. I was unburdened, but it was fleeting. The first disruption came from Jonah, who left a message while I was with a patient. “The medical examiner’s office called,” he told me in a voice mail. “He wants me to swing by the office at my earliest convenience. What should I do?”

He called again an hour later, saying, “Call me, Dad,” and nothing else.

He is leaning on me because I asked him to, so now I’m stuck having to advise. Do I ask my son to lie for me? Do I dare tell him the truth?

The third call came shortly thereafter. This time, it was Buchanan for me. In his voice mail, he omits the little detail about contacting my son. I’m to swing by the department at my earliest convenience to answer a few questions. Again. Seams in my carefully compartmentalized system begin to blur, and I’ll be damned if my hands aren’t shaking when I ask my first patient of the day, “What hurts?”

I’m shoving food into my mouth between appointments—a meal replacement bar that tastes like candied rubber (we sell these things?)—when I get a call from an unknown number. Local. I ignore it, but a minute later, the same number calls again. Ben Walters from our homeowners’ association wants to extend his sympathies, which, of course, means wanting to gossip.

He says, “You know, I got a tip that kid had troubles. Right when he got here, actually. Some neighbors—won’t say which, but you can guess—weren’t feeling his wake-and-bake vibe. Got complaints about the smell of pot. I told them I’d issue a warning, but after you pointed it out at Bella Torta, it seemed excessive. You said you were on the ball, so . . .”

He’d been fond of Nick back when everyone thought he was perfect. Now that everyone thinks Nick was troubled, however—and now that Nick’s dead, moreover—Ben is quick to take credit for seeing the signs first.

When I attempt to get off the phone, Ben gets to the real reason he called. Acknowledging the sensitive timing and that it’s not an explicit area of HOA oversight, he needs to discuss my plans for the roof walk.

“This story has caused a lot of conversation,” he says. “I’ve been thinking, there might be something positive that can come out of it. If you went ahead and secured the structure now, it would demonstrate commitment to the security of this community, you know? We have to stay up to code, but it’s good optics when people set examples, too. If you lead, people will follow, and hopefully we can avoid accidents like these in the future.”