“Sorry to interrupt,” I say. I put my arm around Elizabeth, who squeezes my hand on her shoulder. I take it as an apology for her public speaking debacle. She is forgiven.

“Well, anyway,” Luna says, “I’ll bring you some, but you have to eat them right away or they’ll go bad. You just let me know when works for you. I mean, really, this whole thing is like a horror movie.” Addressing Elizabeth, she adds, “The only difference, of course, is if this was a movie, you’d have died first.”

Elizabeth scowls. “Gee, Luna. What a thing to say.”

Bess adds, “And in this setting, no less.”

“On account of you being the beauty queen, sweetheart. Oh my God. You know what I’m saying.” She shakes Elizabeth by the shoulders. “The pretty one is always the first to go.” To me and Bess, she asks, “Isn’t that the thing? Beauty queen first? I can’t remember. Oh, lighten up. I’m sure the eccentric one dies next.” She nudges Elizabeth, as though they share a secret: two dead gals walking in the movie in Luna’s mind. My wife manages a smile.

“Remind me again, Luna,” Bess says. “When does the bitch die?”

I’ve heard this woman speak all of two sentences, and already, she’s won me over. Nearby friends gasp and turn to watch—not eavesdropping, but flat-out observing in delight. I’m tempted to step in and rescue Bess, but something tells me she doesn’t need backup. After a few terrifying moments during which Luna’s humiliation teases chaos, Bess smiles. She goes so far as to laugh. Luna, caught off guard, laughs too. What else can she do? She points at Bess. “You—are a wild one, aren’t you, buttercup? I’ll be damned.” She shouts across the room to Rick. “You’ve got yourself a firecracker here, Mr. Lester!”

He nods and raises his glass, and to my astonishment, Bess picks up the conversation as though nothing happened. “How long have you two lived here?” she asks Elizabeth.

Assured that Elizabeth is in good hands, I say, “Will you all excuse me? I think we’re running low on club soda.”

Jonah leeches onto me not two steps away. “Well?”

“What?”

“Do you see what I’m talking about now?”

“She’s fine, Jonah.”

“Dad.”

“She’s fine.”

He follows to the garage. “I really need to talk to you.”

“Damn.” A blank strip on the wall reminds me that the ladder is still laying out in our yard. The gutter still needs cleaning.

“What is it?”

“Nothing.” I shimmy over to the shelves where we stock surplus crap from Costco.

“Can you listen for a minute, please?”

The club soda should be here. Tonic water, too. “Do you know where all those bottles went? The Schweppes?”

“I think Elizabeth brought them inside already. But Dad—”

“Not right now, son.”

“This can’t wait.”