Sweat pools at the nape of my neck. At the same time, I’m cold, so cold—the kind of chill that even a hot bath won’t steam away. Can I really do this? Will I stoop to anything to get ahold of the Voice, even risk my own safety?

Clearly it’s more sensible to just wait. It would be foolish in the extreme if I let my impatience lead to something fatal, such as electrocuting myself.

But if I put myself in jeopardy—and by extension, her—maybe the Voice will actually take me seriously.

Squaring my shoulders, I stride to the door. My older self won’t let me get electrocuted. I’m sure of it. As she’s so fond of pointing out, we’re the same person. Anything I do to her, I’ll have to suffer, and vice versa. She sure as hell won’t want me to hurt myself. If I do, I’ll never grow up to be her.

This entire time, she’s been in control of our relationship. She tells me what to do. She decides what information to confide or withhold. She lies to and tricks me.

Well, I’m done letting her jerk me around. I’m not just a silly teenage girl without my own thoughts and opinions. I have power, too. After all, I hold the ultimate bargaining chip: our body.

So I’m taking charge of my destiny. Right here. Right now.

Maybe then, she’ll understand that I’m not just a pawn to do her bidding. Maybe she’ll treat me like an equal partner in our mission to save the world.

Maybe she’ll tell me the truth.

I slowly let the air flow out of me, deflating my lungs. My shoulders. My mind.

“Here goes nothing,” I mutter, flinging open the door and walking into the rain. The water assaults me. In half a second, my clothes are plastered to my body and strands of hair drip around my face.

I grab a rake from the tool bar outside the garden shed. Metal lightning rod, check. I jump on the generator and begin to climb onto the flat roof of our covered back porch. The highest point around, check.

Raindrops lodge on my lashes, blurring my vision. I shake my head to flick away the water, but more just take their place. My muscles strain as I push and pull, and the brick scrapes against my palms. I haul myself onto the roof, the sharp edge nearly bisecting me. And then the sky glows. Lightning zigzags around me, way too close for comfort.

But that’s precisely the point.

I shiver. Please let this work. The Voice made me move away from the flying drops of wine. Surely she’ll come to me before I do something irreversible.