“What did you think I was going to do? Shoot you?” He glances at the weapon and shudders. “Was that your intention?”

“Not anymore,” I mutter.

He shakes his head. “Am I supposed to thank you for that? Or be annoyed because, I don’t know, you planned to kill me?” His eyes pierce into me, cutting through the layers of my confusion, pushing aside my deception and my lies to the real me. The girl I am right here and now. In this present, this timeline. “I want to trust you, Alice. My gut says you’re a good person. But you sure aren’t making it easy for me.”

The truth suddenly coalesces in my mind. The swirling questions, the ill-fitting puzzle pieces—all of it descends into one stark realization.

He’s on my side.

“A voice in my head told me to kill you,” I blurt.

His eyebrows jump. “You’re hearing voices in your head?”

“Yes! I mean, no. Not multiple voices. Just one voice. My older self.” I stop. Tilt my head to the glow-in-the-dark solar system on his ceiling. I have the same stars in my bedroom. If the situation weren’t so grave, I might’ve smiled at the thought of the two of us lying under the same model universe all these years.

“Don’t worry,” I continue. “I’m not losing touch with reality. I promise this situation is much more rational that it sounds. My older self has been traveling from the future, whose population has been decimated by a virus. She said I had to kill you in order to save the world. I had every reason to believe her. Every sign pointed to you as the Maker. But then I read the inscription on the spindle…”

Scanning the plush carpet, I snatch up the wooden rod from where it rolled next to the nightstand. “And if you’re not in love with Lalana…”

I look into his eyes. Dark brown. Tapered at the corners. Aloof but sincere. Confused as hell but still trusting. Always trusting. I’m probably not making much sense to him, but it doesn’t matter. Every cell in my body, every filament in my brain, tells me I’m right.

I just need to say the words out loud in order to believe them.

“You’re not my target. I don’t think you’ve ever been my target.” I swallow hard. And push out the conclusion I’ve reached. “My older self has been lying to me all along.”

Chapter 38

Chapter 38

Two, maybe three seconds pass, but I live an eternity in my mind. The conclusion I’ve reached feels too big for my brain. So epic, so all-encompassing, that it fills up this time stream and reaches its fingers out to another.

“I have to go.” I leap up from the bed.