Not being alive, and not possessing blood, it follows that ghosts aren’t made of matter, either. So it didn’t make sense that I had been able to grab his finger. My hand should have passed right through him. Right?

Wrong. That’s how it works for most people. But not for people like me. Not for the mediators. We can see ghosts, we can talk to ghosts, and, if necessary, we can kick a ghost’s butt.

But this isn’t something I like to go around advertising. I try to avoid touching them – touching anybody, really – as much as possible. If all attempts at mediation have failed, and I have to use a little physical coercion on a recalcitrant spirit, I generally prefer him or her not to know beforehand that I am capable of doing so. Sneak attacks are always advisable when dealing with members of the underworld, who are notoriously dirty fighters.

Jesse, looking down at his finger as if I’d burned a hole through it, seemed perfectly incapable of saying anything. It was probably the first time he’d been touched by anyone in a century and a half. That kind of thing can blow a guy’s mind. Especially a dead guy.

I took advantage of his astonishment, and said, in my sternest, most no-nonsense tone, ‘Now, look, Jesse. This is my room, understand? You can’t stay here. You’ve either got to let me help you get to where you’re supposed to go, or you’re going to have to find some other house to haunt. I’m sorry, but that’s the way it is.’

Jesse looked up from his finger, his expression still one of utter disbelief. ‘Who are you?’ he asked, softly. ‘What kind of . . . girl are you?’

He hesitated so long before he said the word girl that it was clear he wasn’t at all certain it was appropriate in my case. This kind of bugged me. I mean, I may not have been the most popular girl in school, but no one ever denied I was an actual girl. Truck drivers honk at me at crosswalks now and then, and not because they want me to get out of the way. Construction workers sometimes holler rude things at me, especially when I wear my leather miniskirt. I am not unattractive, or mannish in any way. Sure, I’d just threatened to break his finger off, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t a girl, for God’s sake!

‘I’ll tell you what kind of girl I’m not,’ I said, crankily. ‘I am not the kind of girl who’s looking to share her room with a member of the opposite sex. Understand me? So either you move out, or I force you out. It’s entirely up to you. I’ll give you some time to think about it. But when I get back here, Jesse, I want you gone.’

I turned around and left.

I had to. I don’t usually lose arguments with ghosts, but I had a feeling I was losing that one, and badly. I shouldn’t have been so short with him, and I shouldn’t have been rude. I don’t know what came over me, I really don’t. I just . . .