Back in the ward, Nic soothes herself by imagining returning to work the way she used to, as a kid, think about the upcoming school holidays. She sees herself walking (easily, smoothly) towards the front of the store, greeting Jo and Ahmad and Mel and Maria and Lala, all gathered around the security grille waiting for the manager to arrive and open up for the day. They exchange bits of gossip and complaints about the weather or the bus or train. Ahmad and Maria might have some news to share about their kids, Jo and Mel and Lala about their grandkids. Nic might boast about Lena’s latest triumph or show off her newest manicure.

The manager arrives and they all stand about awkwardly not looking at his bum crack as he squats to unlock the grate. It clangs clangs clangs up up up and they file in, taking off coats if it’s winter, fanning their faces in summer, waiting for the air con to kick in, which will happen four minutes after the power board is switched on. The lights come on right away and this—this—this—this is the bit which makes Nic’s tummy lurch with excitement. Sometimes in her mental run-through she gives in to temptation and skips the waiting and the chitchat, jumping straight to this moment, but it’s better when she makes herself hang on. Like foreplay, it is.

So, the main event. Nic walks through the store on her way to the staffroom, ten minutes until opening. The store is bright and clean and though not quiet—the staff are chattering around her and the manager is running through the specials and promotions for the day—it is quieter than it will be again until closing. On her left, the row of registers stretching to the far side of the store; from this angle she can see the neat racks of magazines fronting the area where customers will queue. She can’t make out the individual magazines from here, but she knows if she were to turn right and walk in front of the registers she would find Women’s Weekly and Woman’s Day and Who and New Weekly and House and Garden and Women’s Health. Maybe a special edition cookbook attached to one of the main titles, or a seasonal collector’s edition.