And so Nic looks, and there outside her window is the most extraordinary sunset of her life. Colours she didn’t know existed in nature bleeding into each other. If she saw a painting of this sunset she would think it unrealistic. If she saw a photo she would assume a filter. But here it is, live and unfiltered and changing by the second.

Will hovers at her shoulder. ‘Sunsets get more vibrant the worse the climate—’

‘Chemical haze rapid climate catastrophe we’re all going to burn up Anthropocene something something disaster death despair,’ Lena says.

‘And here I was thinking you never listen to me.’

‘Seriously, Will. How does destroying our ability to enjoy a sunset help the planet at all?’

‘I’m not destroying your enjoyment. Enjoy away. I’m just saying the vibrant colours are because of the smoke and ash, the air pollution. Doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the result, just, like, be aware how it got that way.’

‘That’s my brother, always pointing out the cloud attached to the silver lining.’

‘Doesn’t stop me appreciating the silver lining, though.’

‘Shush, you two,’ Nic says. ‘However it got like this, it’s ephemeral. So pay attention.’

‘Ephemeral. Good word,’ Lena says, wraps her arm around Nic’s back, lets her head fall on her shoulder. Nic reaches with her free arm, pulls Will in to her other side. They stay like that while the clouds drift, the gold and red bleed together, turn purple, lose their edges, become part of the night.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Most of the research for this novel was undertaken thanks to the Judy Harris Writer in Residence Fellowship at the University of Sydney’s Charles Perkins Centre. This fellowship allows a creative writer to spend a year working side-by-side with medical researchers, encouraging fresh thinking and imaginative leaps in both art and science. Thank you to patron Judy Harris and to CPC Academic Director Professor Stephen Simpson for your expansive vision and continued support.

Thank you Joel Smith, Helen Splarn, Gemma Ashton, Fernanda Miranda, Alessia Pagano, Hendra Wijaya, Katia Kullengren, and everyone else at the CPC who welcomed me and facilitated my research. Thank you Michelle St Anne for nourishing conversations about rage and art and the beauty of clutter.

Thank you to all of the researchers, clinicians, academics and students at the CPC and in its connected communities who helped me untangle the various threads that make up hoarding behaviour. Your willingness to take a novelist’s endless what-ifs and but-whys so seriously was a true gift.

Special thanks to Denise Milicevic at the Nepean Anxiety Disorders Clinic for your insights into treating people with Hoarding Disorder and to Gayatri Anand at Westmead Hospital for your enthusiasm about my project and for introducing me to your team of incredible social workers who are on the front line in situations like Nic’s.