‘Pity. I wouldn’t mind him bashin’ me ’ead in if he did it in a funny way.’

‘Nah, most humourless head bashing ever, I’m sorry to say.’

‘I better stay away from him then.’

‘Yeah. Me too.’

‘Is that why you’re here?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Great. Thanks.’

‘No, I mean … I could’ve gone somewhere else. I wanted to be away from him, and I wanted to be with you.’

Josh pushed the tray to the side, leant in and kissed her. ‘I don’t even care why. Not really. I’m so into you, Harris, it’s not funny.’

‘Not laughing.’

‘You laughed all the time when we first met. Now, barely at all.’

‘You talk like we’ve been married seventy years. You hardly know me. Don’t know how often I laugh.’

He bit her lip, held it there between his teeth until she ached all over. He pulled away, said, ‘I can’t bear it that I’ve made you unhappy.’

‘You have to.’

‘When you walked into the bar it was like seeing someone at a funeral. I wanted to bash my own head in.’

‘You should do that, for sure. You’ve got it coming. But not too hard. Only some of the funeral face is because of you.’

‘I’m sorry for that, too, then. That I’ve done this to you when you’ve got other hard shit going on. Do you want to talk about it?’

‘No.’

He nodded, kissed her, soft and chaste. ‘You can, you know. I’m not only here for the sex.’

‘What if I am?’

‘You do want to have sex with me then?’

‘Yes,’ she said. It had been good, hadn’t it? Would feel good again if she could shut all the other stuff out? And after, she could have another shower, wrap herself in another fresh, clean towel like this one, go to sleep in this clean, soft bed.

‘With me?’

‘Is there anyone else here?’

‘Right. See.’ He sneered. Face of a college boy who scores you out of ten while you pull on your undies. ‘You don’t even like me. You just want to get fucked and I’m the only one who’ll do it.’

‘Get over yourself, mate. You are not the only one who—’

‘Since the thing, though.’ Smug, superior, shit-eating grin. ‘How many queuing up to take you out since they’ve seen you riding me?’

Her body was too used to crying. The tears came easily, hot and fast. She tried to get up, but he held her by both arms.

‘I mean, you’re damaged goods now. No one wants to drive a car some other bloke crashed. Even if it’s been cleaned up okay, you know it’s not right.’

‘Let go or I’ll kick your fucking teeth in.’

‘I love it when you talk houso, Harris.’