She finished her inspection of the bedside tables and the wardrobe and strode to the bathroom, Josh behind her the whole way. The shine coming off the tiles made her feel like weeping. The tiniest bit of dirt or dust would show up like an oil spill.

She stood facing him, their doubles looking on from the wall-sized mirror. She had grown up believing that men who took care of their appearance were soft, dressing in the clothes Mummy laid out on the bed. But there was a manliness to Josh’s neatness; a confidence and certainty. He did not expect to be changing a tyre or digging a ditch—or ending up in one, for that matter. But if physical action was called for, he would be up for the challenge, his pants not too tight to squat in, his jacket easily slipped off.

And what kind of woman would you expect to find in a nice hotel with someone like him? Not some scrawny bitch nastiest in this series yet good tits but arse like my granny 6 out of 10 are you kidding mate thats a four at best.

‘All clear?’ he said, moving towards her.

‘I’m hungry.’ She left the bathroom, flipped open the room service menu, nearly choked at the prices.

‘What?’ He was behind her, breathing on the back of her neck.

‘Nothing.’

‘You made a noise.’

needs a gag on her noisy bitch

She turned, shoved the menu at him. He sighed, already reaching for the room phone with his other hand. ‘What do you want then?’

She’d been so distracted by the prices she couldn’t remember any of the items they referred to. ‘I’ll have the forty-seven dollars ninety-five with a side of eighteen dollars and a glass of twenty-four,’ she could say. Nic’d laugh at that, reply, ‘Oh, forget your diet. Go for the thirty-eight seventy-five with the eighteen and the twenty-three dollars on the side and a whole bottle of a hundred and ten.’ But Josh wouldn’t get it so she said, ‘I’ll have whatever you’re having,’ and he ordered two Wagyu burgers with beer-battered chips and a bottle of something she’d never heard of.

‘What’ll we do while we wait?’ he said, coming at her again, touching her this time, his lovely, clean hands on her shoulders.

‘I need a shower.’

‘Shower after.’ His hands moving down her arms.

‘Shower first.’

‘Okay, but I can help.’ Hands moving around to her back now. ‘Scrub the places you can’t reach.’

She pulled away, turned too fast to see his reaction. ‘Nah, I’ll be right. I’m very flexible.’

‘Oh, I know that.’