A few metres along the nature strip a silver slingback sparkles at her. Too high for a long work day, but low enough you could wear it out to dinner and then walk home without stumbling. Shiny finish, probably fake patent leather. The inner soles would be cheap vinyl that smelt bad after a night of sweat. The sides would cut, the toes pinch. So pretty, though, gleaming out on this rough, unlovely patch of wannabe grass, a moment from a fairy tale fallen exactly where it is needed.

Mum had a pair of silver high heels once. Higher and more expensive-looking than this cheerful gal. Mum’s had a textured silk finish and creamy, real leather inner soles. When she wore them she was half a head taller and a million bucks more beautiful. Moving through the house on her way to the door, it was like little bits of glitter and sunshine and joy trailed behind her. Michelle once asked if Mum would leave her those shoes in her will. Mum had laughed and said, Sure, but I don’t plan on falling off the perch any time soon. They’ll be out of fashion by the time you get them. Michelle, who thought herself more sophisticated than anyone, said, Oh, no, Mum. Those are classics. They’re forever.

One morning Mum came home in bare feet, her eyes ringed with melted make-up, her dress torn at the hem and stockings gone. The blue veins on her shins were gruesome in the early light. What happened? Michelle asked and Mum shrugged and said, Rough night.

But where are your shoes?

Mum flicked the question away with her hand. They hurt my feet.

But where did you—

Enough. I need some quiet.

She trudged flat-footed through to her bedroom and Michelle went on a whispered rant about how careless and embarrassing and stupid their mother was. Nic agreed with everything she said, and when she seemed to be done with the rant asked her, Should we go and find her shoes?

Nic would never forget the look her sister gave her. You poor little idiot, it said. You don’t understand a thing that’s happening here. You will never understand the adult world. You will always be locked out. What she said with her mouth was, She doesn’t deserve those shoes.

What’s that got to do with it, Nic wanted to say, but the look had made her feel like she did at school when everyone else picked up their pencils and started writing. She’d thought she’d been paying attention, but everybody else had heard something different from her. They all knew what to do. She had missed it. Whatever it was, she had missed it. Again. Dumb slow retard.