It’s possible the officer thought he was being a smartarse. Not many blokes in childcare, it was true. He himself hadn’t considered it an option until the end of year ten, when his friend Jas left school to do her Cert III at a private college in Parra. It was like she’d shown him a hidden window in a locked and stuffy room. Mum said he’d try anything to get out of school, Dad said it was one thing to do a bit of babysitting, another to become a professional manny, but Aunty Nic was on his side, helped him look up the different courses at the library near her work. He couldn’t afford the fees, but. Not even for the subsidised TAFE course. So one more year at school, this time working as a trolley boy at Coles during the week and a burger flipper at Hungry Jack’s on the weekends. He saved enough for the fees, finished year eleven feeling like a fucking superhero, though he told the other kids at school he was leaving to start a mechanics apprenticeship. Northern Beaches, he told them, so they wouldn’t try to visit his alleged employer and reveal the lie.

Best nine months of his life, it was. Class four days a week, with him the only bloke in a room full of girls. They all tried to make him their best friend at first. Thought he was gay just for being there. When they figured out he wasn’t, a few backed off but most of the others were into it. Straight bloke, loved kids, down to fuck and not too bad at it, thanks very much.

And then. Then he sold weed to a fourteen-year-old in full view of a police officer and there was no positive life change that could make that un-happen. Follow your passion? Might as well tell him to reverse global warming. Love to, internet job coach, love to. Lend me your time machine, yeah?

Yes, Mum. Couple of possibilities to follow up on here, he texted.

Great!!! Mum replied. Just FYI, if it doesn’t work out there Rick is looking for someone to do basic maintenance etc at the car yard. Only part time but at least you’d be here in beautiful Brissie with us!! We’d so love to see you …

If you see me, weep, he wrote. Deleted it. Typed five rows of even though he knew the sarcasm would be lost on her.