Just like my brain, Polly won’t shut up about it all, and now I regret having said something, because the last thing I need is someone else’s hysteria added to my already volatile brain chemicals.

Polly called me at lunchtime and was like: “Any news?”

Me: No.

Polly: You know, Phoebe, being in love with someone isn’t a disease.

Me: Why do I feel sick, then?

Polly: That’ll go away.

Me: Like a headache?

Polly (sighing): Emma’s embrace will work like Tylenol.

Me: I don’t want drugs.

I don’t want to be sixteen and in love and stupid!

Intellectually I know that the best outcome to the whole Emma situation would be if Emma didn’t come to my birthday on Sunday.

Because then it wouldn’t have to be awkward, and we could just never see each other again.

I can always tell Kate that I have to concentrate on school, and learn Russian, and that I have no time to come to the thrift shop once Mum’s back. I mean, I’d be really sad not to see Alex again, but I suppose we can still have Sprinkles dates and stuff.

And I can pay Kate the remaining kitten money back at a later stage. Like when I’m on the mission to Mars.

Hm. I never thought about it, but I wonder how much astronauts earn. It must be really good money, because it’s such a dangerous job, and you have to be highly skilled.

And you’d have, like, zero expenses, because you’d be in a spaceship. I wonder if it’s tax free. I feel like that would be fair.

Anyway, Kate can have back her money then. Plus interest.

PS: Tomorrow after work we’re going to Kingston to get the flat ready.

Dusting, hoovering, food shopping, the usual. Plus we have to do all the party decorations and food for Sunday.

Can’t believe it’s been half a year since Mum left.

PPS: Most bizarre news from Bill.

He’s joined Instagram and now posts daily about #MowglisNewAdventures. Apparently he already has 385 followers.

Seriously, I can’t even.

And because everyone loves him and Mowgli, people have been messaging him to ask where he got the kitten from, and Kate now has ten requests for kitten viewings, and they are all coming on Monday.

PPS: Tomorrow is the last day of school. How did that happen?

Friday, July 13 #Surprise

Mum isn’t going to be here for my birthday after all.

I told Kate that my birthday is canceled.

We never went to Kingston.

11:07 P.M.

I just threw a massive tantrum.

I’m so embarrassed, and I’m not just saying that.

Kate hasn’t tried to talk to me since, which means it was bad. Like, really, really, really bad.

I kicked a wall.

Like, really, really, really kicked a wall. My foot is throbbing.