‘Fine,’ I say with a sigh, opening my eyes. ‘I’ll tell you.’

He settles back next to me, staring into my eyes like before. ‘I’m listening.’

‘I was just thinking about something Tash said to me the other day,’ I begin.

‘You’re worried about her having another baby,’ he cuts in before I can continue. ‘It’s normal, particularly after what you’ve told me about her struggles with the first one. What’s his name again?’

‘Isaac, but that’s not it actually.’

He looks confused. ‘Oh. What is it, then?’

‘It’s about you and me,’ I tell him before he can go off on another tangent. ‘She was asking where we go from here, and I wasn’t able to give her an answer. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great how well you’re looking after your mum, but you have to agree that it makes moving things to the next level tricky.’

A flash of annoyance crosses his face. ‘I’m not sure what our relationship has to do with your sister, if you don’t mind me saying.’

‘She’s got a point though, hasn’t she?’

‘I thought you were happy with the way things are.’

‘I am, but that doesn’t mean that I want them to stay like this forever.’

He looks properly irritated now. ‘Tilly, we’ve talked about this. Would I like to spend more time with you? Of course I would, but⁠—’

‘—your mother, I know,’ I say, cutting him off. ‘But what does that mean in the longer term? Are we still going to be like this in five years? Ten? What we have is fine for now, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable of me to think about the future. Do you want a future with me, Luke?’ I know I’m sounding a bit needy but I need some reassurance from him – surely he can see that?

He sighs heavily. ‘You know I do, but Mum has to be my top priority at the moment. Please don’t ask me to choose between her and you.’

‘I’m not asking you to choose. I’m a nurse; I could help with her care.’

‘I know you could, but I don’t want that,’ he says firmly. ‘It would blur the boundaries and complicate things. What if Mum really didn’t bond with you? Or worse, what if she did and then you and I didn’t work out? Plus, you’re my respite from her. When I’m with you I can be Luke, rather than Mum’s carer, which is why I want to keep you separate from her, do you see?’

‘I guess so. I’m just trying to think of ways to make this work and asking you to understand where I’m coming from.’