‘Luke starts to feel trapped,’ she continues, ignoring me. ‘How to get out from under your mother’s apron strings when there’s nobody else to help her? He decides to take radical action and moves to Milton Keynes, only it’s a disaster. She completely unravels and he’s forced to return home with his tail between his legs.’ Her eyes light up. ‘Maybe it’s all an act.’

‘What?’

‘The mother. Maybe there isn’t actually anything wrong with her at all. She’s just putting on this vulnerable act to keep him where she wants him.’

‘Hang on. In the space of, what, five minutes, we’ve gone from putting her into a home to her being some scheming Machiavelli?’

‘I’m just exploring all the angles. Although, if she were making the whole thing up, putting her into a home would be a sure-fire way to smoke her out. A week of easy-chew food and light entertainment would drive her to come clean in no time, I reckon.’

‘So you’re saying he should put her in a home as a test. If she’s genuinely vulnerable, she’ll take to it well and, if she isn’t, she’ll have to ’fess up.’

‘It’s worth a try.’

‘It really isn’t. I think it’s nice that he wants to look after her. Lena was banging on the other day about how the younger generations look after the older ones in most cultures, and it’s got to be better than just stuffing them in a home and forgetting about them the moment they start to become mildly inconvenient. He wants to be there for her and I’m going to support him in that. Anyway, enough about me. How’s your life?’

‘Oh, peachy. Days like today are my favourites. Lucifer is in preschool for the whole day and Greg’s at work, so I can actually spend a few hours pretending that I’m a functioning independent adult.’

‘Poor Isaac.’

‘He’s all right, don’t worry about him. Did I tell you that Greg and I are talking about trying again?’

‘What, another baby?’

‘Don’t sound so surprised. People do have more than one child, and maybe we’ll get a nice one this time. It probably wouldn’t do Isaac any harm to have a brother or sister, so he learns to share.’

‘You’re sounding like Mike now.’

‘And how is Mike?’

‘Don’t change the subject. Another baby is huge news. Mum will be delighted, although she’ll probably start on at me again.’

‘We haven’t actually made it yet, and I’m definitely not saying anything to Mum.’ She laughs. ‘We’re just talking about the possibility, that’s all.’

‘Lot of pressure on you, given that Greg’s hardly ever around.’