‘I was, but then something went wrong with the washing machine, so I had to be around to let Dave here in to fix it.’

This just keeps getting worse. I turn to find a workman in the kitchen, eyeing me with evident curiosity. I can practically feel my libido draining away and, looking at Luke, it seems the same might be true for him.

‘Are you going to introduce me to your friend?’ Lena asks, evidently enjoying herself now.

‘Umm, fine. Yes. Luke, this is my flatmate Lena, and Lena, this is my friend Luke.’

‘Not being funny, but you two looked a little more than friendly when you came in,’ she remarks blandly. ‘You should have let me know you were expecting company. I’d have made myself scarce, although I’m not sure what I’d have done about Dave.’

‘I think I’d better go,’ Luke says, turning towards the door.

‘Nonsense,’ Lena tells him, patting the sofa beside her. ‘Any friend of Tilly’s is a friend of mine. Why don’t you come and sit down next to me, we’ll get Tilly to make some coffees in that ridiculous machine that no sensible human could ever be expected to figure out, and we’ll get to know each other, hmm? Would you like a coffee, Dave?’

‘Love one,’ Dave replies.

Luke looks at me, evidently unsure what to do. I can tell he’d like to leave, but I know I won’t see him for ages again if he does, and I’m keen to salvage something from this mess. Part of me considers just dragging him into my room anyway, but it would be obvious what we were up to, even if the lousy soundproofing didn’t mean Lena and Dave would be able to hear everything.

‘Stay,’ I tell him, before leaning in close. ‘Maybe she’ll go out once the machine is done.’

That seems to be enough to persuade him, and he reluctantly perches himself on the sofa next to Lena, who looks like a praying mantis getting ready to decapitate him.

‘Did I hear Tilly say you were a doctor, Luke?’ Lena begins as I reach into the cupboard for mugs.

‘Yes, that’s right. We work together in A & E,’ he tells her.