‘How is it that I can work all day with sick children who are all little angels, and then come home to a perfectly healthy one who spends most of his time acting like the spawn of Satan?’

‘Isaac’s still a challenge then?’

‘Oh, yes. The preschool staff all love him and say what a sweetie he is, and he’s all smiles with them, and then he transforms into a monster the moment I get him into the car. It’s like Jekyll and Hyde. If you can bear some sage advice from your younger sister, it’s this: never get married. If you do, never have children. If you ignore that, for fuck’s sake don’t be fooled into thinking that giving them a Biblical name will mean they live up to it. Our Catholic education has a lot to answer for.’

‘Hmm. I’m not sure Biblical Isaac had a very good deal. I mean, his mum and dad obviously doted on him and everything, right up until the point where he had to basically build his own funeral pyre, his dad whipped out a knife and revealed he was going to sacrifice him. I mean, that’s a shit ton of family therapy right there. Social services would definitely have a lot to say.’

This does make her laugh. ‘You’re right, but at least Isaac was basically a good guy, unlike Jacob, who tricked his brother out of his share of the inheritance, or Joseph, who was arrogant prick numero uno. If he’d been my brother, I think I’d have thrown him into a pit too.’

‘I can always rely on you to tell it like it is,’ I tell her, joining in with her laughter before easing the conversation on to my real reason for calling. ‘Which is why I want to ask your advice.’

‘Sounds interesting. Go on.’

‘It’s about a man.’

‘A man, you say? Hold on. I need a wine top-up if we’re doing this.’ I hear her put down the phone and the distinctive noise of liquid being poured into a glass. Part of me would like to join her, but I’ve got to be up early in the morning and I definitely don’t want to be feeling groggy. ‘OK, I’m listening. Tell me about this man,’ she says when she picks the receiver back up.

‘It’s probably nothing,’ I tell her, before launching into a description of my two encounters with Luke.