‘Really, Matilda, you do make me despair sometimes. If you want to catch this boy, you need to set out your stall. Show him what a prize you are.’

‘I’m not sure I do want to catch this boy, as you put it, and even if I did, I’d want to catch him as me, not some artificial version of myself.’

‘Well, it’s your life, darling,’ Mum says with a theatrical sigh. ‘We all just want to see you happy.’

‘I am happy just as I am,’ I tell her strenuously. I do love my mother, but she drives me up the wall when she’s like this. Thankfully, she gets the message and the call wraps up pretty swiftly.

Typically, however, her words have hit home more than I want them to, and I’m now paralysed with indecision. Should I make more of an effort? I’ve always just turned up in jeans and a hoodie before, but maybe it wouldn’t do any harm to up my game a little. It might help with the charm offensive I’m planning to mount. With a sigh, I open my wardrobe and start flicking through.

‘Is this for lunch?’ Sarah asks as I parade my first combo in front of her and Mike, having told them about the conversation with my mother. My wardrobe is hardly jam-packed with exciting outfits but, after trying a few things on, I’ve gone for a long checked shirt over a mid-thigh-length skirt and tights, which I thought still looked fairly informal, just dialled up a bit.

‘Yes.’

‘I think it’s a tiny bit much, if you don’t mind me saying,’ she observes. ‘I like the shirt, but I’ve never seen you in a skirt before, so it stands out.’

‘Isn’t that the point?’ Mike asks from his station behind the stove. I’m not sure what they’re having for lunch, but it smells amazing.

‘Tilly needs to strike the right balance,’ Sarah explains to him. ‘She wants Will to notice how good she looks, without making it obvious how much effort she’s gone to for him.’

‘What?’ Mike looks totally bemused.

‘It’s not for Will,’ I clarify. ‘I just thought it might be nice to dress a bit more smartly, given how much effort Jonathan goes to with these lunches.’

‘It’s like make-up,’ Sarah tells him, completely ignoring my protest. ‘You want it to make you look your best, but also be subtle at the same time.’

‘God, it must be tiring being a woman,’ Mike says with a laugh. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever put that much thought into my appearance.’

‘I know,’ Sarah replies. ‘Your biggest dilemma is whether to shave or not. Anyway, jeans, Tilly.’

‘Make-up?’ I ask, still thinking about her previous remark.

‘Do you normally?’

‘No.’

‘Minimal then. Would you like me to do it for you?’