‘I’d steer clear, if I were you,’ he says, undeterred. ‘He’s probably as selfish in bed as his type are about everything else,’ Mike snorts. ‘The problem with your only child is they think the world revolves completely around them. My advice would be to give him the brush-off and chalk it up as a lucky escape.’

‘There’s nothing to brush off,’ I say, more firmly than I meant to. ‘I think he’s just lonely and wanted to make some new friends.’

‘That’s bollocks,’ Mike scoffs. ‘He didn’t want new friends, he wanted a specific new more-than-friend. Also, only children have no concept of loneliness. It’s literally their idea of heaven. He’s up to no good, mark my words.’

‘I think you’re being a little over-suspicious.’

‘I don’t know. His mum lives in town, you say?’

‘Yes. Monson Road.’

‘Hmm. And did he grow up locally, or has she recently moved here?’

‘He grew up here before moving to Milton Keynes.’

‘My point exactly!’ he says triumphantly.

‘You haven’t made a point,’ I retort.

‘I may not have articulated it to you, but it was there in my head all along. The point is this. If he grew up here, and he’s not a narcissistic weirdo like all the other only children in the world, where are all his friends, eh?’

‘Right. Enough,’ I say firmly. ‘I know you don’t like only children because of Caroline⁠—’

‘Evil cow,’ he interjects.

‘—because she’s the only woman you ever seem to have genuinely cared about and she dumped you, but you can’t extrapolate your experiences with her to every single other person who happens to have the same family structure. It’s nonsense, Mike. And, while we’re on the subject, it could be said that your one-man crusade to sleep with every woman under forty at the hospital is also a little narcissistic. What do you say to that?’

He smiles. ‘Firstly, I’d argue that Kim was forty-two, and secondly I’m not being narcissistic. I’m doing what every well-adjusted young man who’s grown up in a normal family would do. I’m sharing the love.’

I stare at him in disbelief.

‘Oh my God. You actually believe that, don’t you?’

‘Naturally. Anyway, we’re getting off the subject, which is lonely Luke. Do you like him?’

I consider for a moment before giving my answer. ‘Yes. He’s very good-looking. I’ll admit to fancying him and he seems like a really nice person. He stares at me though, which I find a bit disconcerting.’

‘What, eyeing you up on the job? You could probably file a sexual harassment complaint.’

‘No, nothing pervy. It’s only when he’s talking to me. He looks at me really intensely.’

Mike grins. ‘That’s a new one for the book. Only child, lack of social skills because no siblings to practise on.’