In an effort to restore some equilibrium, I try to focus on the time I spent with Jonathan and Will, but it’s not working. The conversation with Luke, Cindy and Richenda is now playing on a loop in my head, along with my mother telling me that I’m not getting any younger and I should consider lowering my standards or visiting a sperm bank. I wonder where Cindy is now? Hopefully, she’s being supported by family rather than sitting in a soulless hotel room somewhere contemplating the collapse of her marriage. Maybe she’ll end up giving Luke a third chance. He is the father of her child, after all. Based on her behaviour this afternoon, however, I think that’s unlikely. It’s not my problem, I tell myself firmly. Although I still feel a crushing sense of guilt for my role in all of this, I am starting to see what everyone has been telling me; I didn’t know he was married, and I stopped sleeping with him the moment I found out. I may have been the other woman, but I was never a part of his deception and I never would have been.

God, I really hate him right now. I hate what he’s done to me, and I hate what he’s done to her. Most of all, I hate the way he tried to wriggle out of it. What a coward. I hope I don’t have to work with him for a while, because I can’t see myself having a civil word to say to him right now.

* * *

Of course, fate has other ideas, doesn’t it, and sure enough Luke is there at the start of my next shift. To make things worse, it’s a midweek night shift. Although A & E can never be described as quiet, midweek nights are slower than weekends, which does allow time for more chat. Dr Rogers is our lead consultant tonight and I’m pleased to note that Luke is still a little wary around him after his dressing-down a few months ago, so he seems to be on his best behaviour. On the occasions that he does need to address me, he’s keeping the conversation strictly patient focused, although there’s something in his eyes that still makes me uncomfortable. When my break time comes, I try to sneak out undetected so he won’t follow me. The canteen is closed at this time of night, so there’s only the small staffroom to escape to.

I’ve barely boiled the kettle and opened the Tupperware box containing the sandwiches I made earlier before the door opens and Luke slips in.

‘I thought I’d find you in here,’ he says, sitting down next to me. ‘I think we need to talk, don’t you?’