He wanted to be medicated, he wanted to be put somewhere where he could become useless, and not have destruction in his head. He wanted it all, and it would go to black and blank. He wanted to sit in a chair and stare, and do nothing. Not eat, not sleep, just do nothing, because he would have no choice to do anything, it all left him, oozing out of his body, his hope, his feelings of love, of being loved, of wanting to see people, of wanting to hear noise, he wanted done with it, he wanted it all to stop, but he knew and it brought him great sadness that he didn’t have the courage to make it all stop. His energy had gone, he was weak, his brain had no focus, his name was slipping from his mind, his feelings were going from his body, he didn’t want to be clean, he wanted to smell, he wanted nothing good that life might have had to offer because it wasn’t for him. Life wasn’t for him, it was for all the other people who knew how to live it, who knew how to construct it, who had normal responses to situations, to people, people who understood what you were meant to do, who had reaction to conversation, to humour, that wanted food, that wanted to live. He didn’t, he had closed down and he sat in the chair and managed all he could manage. He managed to urinate, to urinate in the toilet, and that was an achievement, and close the curtains and turn the day into night. The night and day had no difference, there was no need for light, it did nothing, he was dark and his eyes couldn’t recognise light, and his mind couldn’t feel light, he was heavy and it had all gone. That is what it feels like, that is where he would be now until, until, who knows, until the until happens, and that you would never know until it did. Ever sat and sat and sat. And that was that.

Chapter Twenty

Two men ripped the dress off the woman with the bobbed hair and revealed a red bra and french knickers in a matching tone.

There were no words, she was thrown onto the bed having been backhanded across the face, and the lipstick on her face was smudged like blood across her cheeks where she had received the mouths of these two men.

Her underwear was taken off as she was turned onto her stomach and the penis of the dark-haired man was pulled from his pants.

Hard and desperate to find its hole.