“So Robin doesn’t know about the kiss?”

“No. Why would you think that she did? Did she say something to you?”

“No, Grant, but your text was vague. Who says they need ‘to talk’”—I air-quoted—“unless it’s bad?”

“I guess I do.” He chuckled, but I wasn’t laughing. I was still coming down off my panic attack. I slumped into the sofa. My legs felt sleepy and my arms heavy as the living room rippled like it was underwater.

“What do we need to talk about?” I demanded. “And next time don’t word it like that or I’ll cut your friggin’ balls off.”

“Ouch.” He cupped his balls; that made me grin. “Well, I wanted to talk about us.”

I gave a derisive snort. “There is no us, Grant. What we did was a huge mistake, and one I don’t want to make again. Willow might have seen us. And even if she didn’t, I don’t want to risk it again. Plus you’re my best friend’s husband, father of four, respected pediatrician . . . in the running for Man of the Year. Do you really want to throw all of that away?”

“Being with you doesn’t mean I’m no longer a father or doctor, Lily. It’s just that things between Robin and I have gotten . . . bad, lately.”

“Bad how? Bad enough you don’t want to be with her anymore?” Robin had never told me things were anything but perfect. She loved Grant, believed he loved her. She was happy, fulfilled. Everyone could see it in her adoring glances, outspoken praise, the way she orbited her existence around him.

Grant sat next to me and examined the wall behind me intently. I examined him intently. Where was this coming from? And who was telling the truth—Robin or Grant? Unless there were two different truths.

“I don’t know what I want anymore, Lily. I want to feel something, anything. With Robin, it’s been months since we’ve gone on a date or even had a private conversation without the kids crawling all over us. It’s getting too hard.”

“Marriage is hard, family is hard, no matter who it’s with. If anyone knows that it’s me. When Tony left, it destroyed me. I still haven’t recovered from it and it’s been months, because once you find the right person, you don’t let go. You hold on with everything you’ve got.”

“I’m tired of being the only one holding on, Lil. She let go a long time ago.”

I wagged my finger in the air at him Italian style. “Not true. She’s never let go; she’s just got too much to hold on to right now, burdened with four kids and all their activities, managing a home, supporting you while you got your practice up and running, keeping your perfect lives in place. Give her time.”