I should have listened to the warning back then. I should have followed my heart, not my fear. But I didn’t see the difference between the two back then, because young love is blind. And when we’re blind, we follow the voice we trust, even when that voice isn’t trustworthy.

It would be years before it dawned on me that in marrying Owen, I had in effect married a version of my father. A psychiatrist could have gotten rich off of dissecting that disturbing realization—if I’d had the money.

Chapter 28

Robin

SATURDAY

Saturday afternoons are my favorite time of the week, especially during that sliver of time when the house is unearthly still, hovering between two modes of chaos. It’s during this brief hour when Grant busies himself with mowing the yard or some other outdoor project, Ryan and Willow get caught in video game warfare, and Lucas and Collette are finally down for some synchronized napping. After squeezing in a couple hours of work for Lily, I was ready for me time—the only time of the week I get to myself. A glass of wine, my favorite Netflix binge, feet propped up on the sofa, and it’s all about me.

I placed my wineglass next to a fresh bouquet of flowers Grant had bought me. Presumably guilt flowers for his online dating excursions that I hadn’t yet confronted him about but planned to soon. Tomorrow, in fact. He had accepted my alter ego’s invitation to meet for drinks at Boot Scooters, a bar he knew I’d never go to without him. I’d told Ryan it was a surprise date night I had planned and I needed him to babysit. Grant had already lied through his teeth about meeting up with a friend for a beer. I’d even picked out my sexiest silk black dress to make sure it still fit—and I looked damn good in it too.

I played it like a movie in my head, rewinding it over and over. He’d be sitting at the bar watching for his temptress, then lo and behold, here I’d come, placing a hand on his shoulder, looking like a million bucks. His eyes would widen, searching for a hiding place, and he’d stammer through a series of lies and excuses about why he was there. I’d play along for as long as it took to finish a martini, then I’d cut to the chase.