What I’m wondering is, why is it posted in here? In here with me I mean. I’m not a visitor. Is it also posted outside? Anywhere outside? Can people outside, I mean to say visitors, can they see that sign? If they can’t, how would they know when to come?

Could you pass me that cup of water? It’s just, it’s just that I’m very thirsty. And, I’d get it myself, but, well, I’m a bit tied up at the moment. Hah! Tied up, see?

In a minute? OK. Thank you.

It’s just that my mouth gets so dry.

They’re going to come and wash my hair today, cut it maybe. Good, I say. Good and great. Cut it all away. Shave it down to the skin.

They will be coming to my room to cut it. Makes me feel like a lady, you know? Having all these people come.

I hope you don’t mind me talking. They told me I should.

Talk, I mean. And I said, Well, what about?

And they said, like they do: Well, what about?

I yelled at them then, and I know now that I shouldn’t have. That it’s wrong and unhelpful. Unproductive. I know that. And they were right! They were right to do what they did. It’s nothing that they shouldn’t have done. Or do again if it needs doing.

I see all that now. The helpfulness of remaining still and quiet and good I mean. I see it!

But, just between you and me, sometimes, it’s like I have a rock on my chest. A real one. An actual rock set right on top of the bone and it’s crushing me. One of those big boulder things that you see sometimes by the ocean. Have you seen those? The ones that are so big and grey and you know if you licked them you would taste salt? Anyway, what’s important is that it’s big, this salty rock. You’d never be able to move it. Or I won’t. Not ever.

And sometimes, also, the rock is inside me. There’s this grit in the back of my mouth. I can taste it, and I don’t know whether it’s the grit of the rock, the rock inside me, or my own teeth being ground into powder. It could be either one really. And I’m right here between them. I’m here and there are these two rocks pressing.

Yes. I’m sorry. No. I’m calm. You don’t need to call anyone. Really, you don’t need to. I’m calm. What I meant to say is, it just doesn’t seem possible really, to talk to them. But to you, well, I feel that I can. I hope that you don’t mind that. It seems better somehow, if we both have to be here together. It seems better to fill the air up with something. Could we smoke? Do you have a cigarette? I’m not particular, I’ll smoke anything at all.

No, I’m kidding. Yes, I understand. Who you are, who I am. I understand that. I’m not trying to cross any lines! There are boundaries, and boundaries are important! I understand that. It’s OK if you want to tell them what I tell you. I understand if you need to. I just don’t want to talk to them directly, you see? Can you see that?