There you are, he said, as if we were the ones who had gone somewhere. He came over and put his fingers in B’s hair and sat down next to me and put his arm around me, around us, around B and me both and leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. E woke up and came into the room in her nightgown and I was pleased to have her find us like this. The picture was just right. We both smiled at her in just the right way. B even cooed or made some soft baby sound that was fitting. E rubbed her eyes, blinked and came to curl up between us. Being touched and seen and so familiar with each other, well, it felt then like everything would just go on and be absolutely beautiful for ever. Sometimes everything can seem right with your life if you pretend to take a picture of yourself at the perfect moment. Here we were.

M sighed and stretched, cracked his neck. I can’t stay, he said. I’ve got to get back to work. I can’t believe I didn’t make it home last night.

We all tumbled off the couch and back into ourselves. I ran to the kitchen to boil water for more coffee, hoping that the beans were still fresh. Hoping that they were the kind of beans he liked. E needed breakfast too.

I need you to get something for me, M said. Already in a clean suit, already almost out the door before the water had boiled. My hands were shaking, I was trying to make his coffee that fast, scooping the grounds into the French press. Really I was thinking if I could only keep him for just a moment longer in the apartment everything would be better, would be right. Really I was also thinking of what I must look like, my hair flat, an old sweater thrown around my shoulders. Is that for me? M said. Looking at the French press, at the white mug with the blue flowers that I’d placed perfectly and rightly beside it.

Thanks, he said, but it’s OK. My assistant can get it for me at work. He said a name but I didn’t catch it. Some name that was like a kind of silk ribbon or a deer, long legs, eyes and eyelashes. His assistant.

Once a woman has had children she always looks like a woman who has had children. She looks like a woman who has always had children too and this is of course even worse. The coffee was so close to being almost ready. Wait, I said.

Sorry, he said, I really need to get going. I’ve got a meeting, he said and he rolled his eyes and made a mockbored face. You know how it goes, he said, but of course I didn’t, know I mean.

I need you to get something for me though, OK? he said. A baby gift, from us, something nice. Jean’s wife just had a baby. Besides, he said, it will be good for you to get out of the apartment for a while. Get some fresh air. Do a little shopping. Maybe you’ll see something nice for yourself, he said, smiling, offering, giving, what? Maybe I would.