“Around the deathbed we must instead put pictures of people who have already passed rather than pictures of people they will be leaving behind,” Bethanny said. “You don’t want them to be in distress because of what they’re leaving behind. We do not want to prolong their suffering. We want them to leave full of gratitude. What we’re doing is helping them die without resentments and regrets. I’ve said it before—it’s a profound freedom.”

We all clapped. Maybe some of us from the relief that we could carry whatever we had carefully wrapped back home with us.

Bethanny focused on talking about what it would be like to be paired up in the field at the end of our final session. She had talked about bonding, vulnerability, and trust. We were going to build deep relationships with one another.

“It’s inevitable,” she said.

She had started circling us, and I knew she was about to deliver one of her truth bombs.

“One thing I want to mention that’s crucial to this work: we are here in service of our clients. We are of course human beings, but part of relieving them of their suffering is also not giving them our own. Do not make their deaths about yourself,” she said.

She looked around the room and seemingly tried to make eye contact with each one of us to make sure we got the point.

“This is difficult work and it’s an intimate experience. Be a human.”

She looked right at me and said, “I don’t expect you to be stone-faced, but please don’t burden our clients with your feelings. That’s what I and other more seasoned members of the group are here for. Offload with us, not them.”

She then told us who we would be paired with for our first client. She said that after watching us she had a good idea of who would be a good pairing and so she made the choice for us. I looked around at who was left from the first session. Ponytail Richard was. Debbie was still with us, of course, and I imagined she had never quit anything in her entire life. Monica had disappeared. Nathan was there, and several people I did not recognize were sitting around him and smiling at the rest of us.

“This is not easy work,” Bethanny said. “And while I don’t fault those who didn’t stick it out, I’m proud of those of you who stayed.”

She began to read pairs of names off a roster, and I was annoyed when I heard her call Debbie and Nathan’s names together.

“Evelyn and Lorraine,” she said.

Lorraine stood up and looked around the room. I hesitated, but when I finally got up she smiled at me. We paired off and she went in for a hug.