Besides the posters, the few pictures he had on his walls all had the yellowish tinge of the 1980s. Nothing about his apartment felt current, inside or out. The tiles in his kitchen matched the tiles in his bathroom—a salmon-pink-and-black combo—and that was the only flourish to be found.

“I think I know where Bethanny left off,” I said.

“She’s great, isn’t she?”

“I like her a lot.”

“A beautiful woman,” he said. “You are, too. It’s almost unfair to think I’m leaving and all these beautiful women have just started streaming into my house again.”

I laughed, because I didn’t know what else to do. I wasn’t going to be coaxing him to stay.

“I’m just old and invisible now.”

He sat down on his sofa in a huff, and I took a seat in a recliner across from him. I noticed orange pill-bottles tossed underneath a side table near where he sat, collecting dust.

“How are you feeling?”

“Everything hurts. My joints, everything. I only got out of bed because I knew you were coming.”

“Do you need me to get you anything?”

“Water,” he said. “And applesauce.”

I collected the mugs that littered the coffee table and went into the kitchen. The sink was piled with dishes; I thought about doing them for him. Everything was worn and chipped, and it was clear life had gotten away from him.

“I’ll clean that up later,” he called from the living room.

I opened his refrigerator and covered my mouth from the smell. A bluish mold had started its creep across most of the items in there. I took out a container of applesauce and closed the door. I turned on the faucet and returned to the living room.

“The place doesn’t look big, but it’s a lot to manage,” he said, embarrassed.

“I understand.”

I watched him drink and felt an urge to scrub away all the sickness and loneliness from this place so that at least he could feel a sense that things were a little under control before he passed on. He put the applesauce next to him for later.

“So I have to ask—have you explored all avenues?”

“She already asked me that,” Lawrence said.

“I know, but I have to reiterate, in case there’s been a change.”

“I have explored them all.”

“Do you understand this is completely voluntary?”

Lawrence nodded yes, but didn’t say the word.

“Can you verbally affirm?”

“Yes, I understand this is my choice.”

“Do you understand you can opt out anytime?”

“Yes. But I’m tired of the pain and I want to go, so don’t worry about that.”

I folded my hands in my lap.

“Did Bethanny finalize who would be coming by after you pass?”

“My ex-wife, Connie.”

“Did you reach out to her yet?”

“We talk all the time.”

“Really?”

“Better apart than together,” he said, and smiled. “You married?”