Chapters (30)
The monologue continued; I listened impassively, from time to time making noncommittal noises. At least she’d stopped crying, she wasn’t making any demands upon my sympathy. The children she was talking about didn’t seem the same ones who were making a din in the dining-room. It seemed as if they were all crying at once. Harry called them the Pudding-Faced Bawlers; that, now that I came to think of it, summed them up pretty accurately. I looked at my watch; in half an hour I was due at the Health Committee meeting. At this rate I wasn’t going to get anything to eat at all.
Susan came in, her face flushed. She was holding Barbara by the hand. Barbara was clutching the panda and the golliwog with her free hand and was smiling broadly. Her face was smeared with tomato sauce.
“Speak to your daughter, will you?” Susan said. “She’s been an absolute little fiend.”
“I believe you,” I said. “I’ve heard the sounds of conflict. What’s she done?”
“She hit Helen and Vivien. And now she’s pushed Linda off her chair.”
“Come here,” I said to Barbara. “Now listen to me. You’ve been very naughty. Helen and Vivien and Linda are your guests. You mustn’t be rude to your guests.”
“You told me to,” she said. “You told me to.”
“I didn’t, darling. I told you not to be so soft.”
But that wasn’t what I had said; I was telling a lie. It was a small lie, but it was still a lie.
“I love you,” I said. That, at least, was the truth. “So be a good girl for Daddy. Tell your cousins you’re sorry. Promise? Just for Daddy?”
“Yes, Daddy,” The smile had gone now.
“Run along and play, pet.”
“It’s nearly time for her bath,” Susan said.
“So it is,” I said. Barbara was beginning to cry; I put my arms around her. I was trying to give her comfort, but I realized gratefully, as I had done before, that it was I who was being given comfort, it was she who stood between me and harm. I was clinging to her, not she to me. I was clinging to my small daughter because I was frightened. But of what I didn’t know. I pushed her away from me gently.
“You’re a dear little girl,” I said. “Now don’t let me catch you misbehaving again.”
She nodded vigorously and ran out of the room.
“One word from him and she does what she likes,” Susan said. “She can twist him round her little finger and she knows it.”