Chapters (30)
I felt young again. It was all so easy. He was jealous. He wanted what I wanted. He was jealous even of Warley. And ahead of me lay pleasure. Not just the pleasure of having Jean but the pleasure of taking her from someone else, whom I had disliked at first sight. I’d spent the whole day pleasing a gluttonous sadistic old man for the sake of my bread-and-butter, for the sake of my wife and children. I’d spent the whole day from catching the London train at six in the morning, looking at notes and specifications and letters with aching eyes, as an employee, as something less than a man. And now I was free, now I was a man again, now I would join the dancers.
There were thirty of the dancers. They weren’t dancing; some of them weren’t even drinking. It didn’t seem to me as if there were going to be an orgy; everyone there seemed to be very young. Or maybe, I thought, I’d come ten years too late. “I’ll get you a drink,” said Jean “Name it, sweetie.”
“I will name it, and I’ll name him,” Jeff said. “I’ve just remembered. It’s Lampton and he wants a large Scotch; that’s what the successful businessman drinks in Warley.” He flattened the first vowel of Warley into a bleat, looking at me to observe the effect. I felt a spurt of anger; automatically I measured him up. He was two inches taller than me but he was painfully thin. It wasn’t an athletic thinness, it was a disjointed, underfed thinness; he seemed somehow brittle. Or as if his bones hadn’t hardened yet; there was more than a touch of childishness about him.
“You’ve guessed right,” I said. “You seem to know Warley quite well.” I offered him a cigarette. It suddenly seemed important to please him, not because I cared about pleasing him but as an exercise in handling people.
“I lived there once. And I’ve worked for your father-in-law,” he said. “During the war. We never saw eye to eye.”
“Who does?”
“It’s different for you,” he said. “I was just a clerk.”
“We all are,” I said. “Every last one of us at Brown and Co.” At the far end of the room, half-hidden behind a studio couch was a big tape recorder; its profusion of knobs and switches put me in mind of the Flamville computer which, against my advice, Brown had just acquired. Firmly I put the recollection out of my mind.
“He’s the big boss,” Jeff said. “No togetherness for Abe Brown. He’s a throwback, a nineteenth-century throwback.”
Jean came back with the drinks; he took his from her absently and drank half of it at one gulp. She looked at him anxiously. “Are you all right, Jeff?”