Irritation flares inside me. Deep breaths. Stay calm. The same things Patricia says to me when I get upset. When the memories come, the anger and the sadness wash over me in waves, each one bigger than the last, and she has no idea how much they hurt. “Don’t tell me to be calm.”

“I’m sorry,” he soothes, pressing a kiss to my forehead, then my temple. “I won’t say it again.”

“I’m really tired of people telling me to be calm and take fucking deep breaths.”

“Okay.” He nods against my forehead. “Then let me just be there for you tonight.” He reaches his hand into his back pocket and presses a key into my hand.

I look down, wiping my tears away with a sleeve. “What’s this?”

He smirks, but there’s hesitation there, mixed with pleasure. “My room key.”

“And why are you giving this to me?”

“I have to go pick up my dad from the airport after the trial. It’s a four-hour round trip. After the bouts, why don’t you go upstairs and wait for me in my room. When I get back, we can talk about whatever’s going on. Or not talk.”

“Not talk?” I lift both brows. Red rushes up to his cheekbones.

“That’s not what I meant,” he says hurriedly, then pauses, reconsiders. “Unless that’s what you meant? The version of not talking that means we’re doing other things?”

I press my lips together to keep from laughing. “I didn’t actually say any words just now, Davis. That was all you.” The look on his face is an adorable blend of hope and uncertainty. “Tell you what,” I say, closing my hand around the bronze key. “I’ll take this and wait upstairs in your room after Gillian kicks my ass, as long as you let me use your shower while you’re gone.”

“Deal.”

We smile at each other, and the moment feels like it’s ours. Secret. Butterflies swarm in my stomach because while we’ve exchanged a few pecks, nothing has been as heated or intense as that first kiss. Taking him up on his invite means we’ll be alone in his room for the first time since the second trial. Nick gazes down at me, that same awareness mirrored in his eyes. He tugs on my belt until we’re standing flush and presses a warm thumb into my palm like a promise.

It takes another flicker of the lights to break us apart and send us in our separate directions, but I head down to the prep area with at least one thing to look forward to.