“What Sel did was wrong…” Nick tenses, but drops his head to stare at me. The mix of anger and fierce protectiveness in his eyes takes my breath away. My heart, slow as William said it was, wakes up like the sun, ba-dumps in my chest. I ignore it, just to get this out. “But I am lying to people. I’m not here for the same reasons as everyone else, and we both know it…”

Nick’s eyes are twin blue moons, shining bright. “What are you saying?”

What am I saying? “That he has a point. I don’t belong here. I’m a… a distraction.” The words feel true as soon as I say them out loud.

Nick’s head jerks back like I’d slapped him, and his eyes flash. “Sel used his powers to directly threaten a member of this chapter! If you were Legendborn, his Oath of Service would have burned him alive. Do you have any idea what my father would do to him if he were here?”

I blink, startled by his vehemence. “Yes, but he thought I was here to hurt you, Nick! He was just doing his job. You’ve said it yourself, I’m an anomaly. The things I can do—”

He presses a finger to my mouth. “Not here.”

He’s right. The echoing foyer isn’t exactly soundproof if someone above opens a door. I lower my voice. “Sel didn’t hurt me.”

“He’s the reason you got hurt!” he insists in a rough whisper.

“No, he’s not,” I counter.

He laughs, incredulous, and releases me to tunnel both hands through his hair. “How are you defending him right now?!”

“I’m not.” I groan. “Sel shouldn’t have sent his hound after me, but he’s not wrong to be vigilant. You didn’t see those hellfoxes, Nick. They’ll eat the Legendborn’s weapons and armor, steal it away. Leave all of you helpless—”

“Which is why I need to be able to trust my Kingsmage,” he fires back. “And right now, I don’t trust him. I don’t!”

“But—”

He grasps my hands, his eyes turning pleading in the dim light. “If Camlann is coming, and I become king, I’m going to have to make hard decisions, Bree. But they will never be the kind of decisions that make it okay for us to turn on our own or behave as badly as Shadowborn. I won’t be the leader that allows our opponents to turn us into reckless monsters, and that’s exactly what Sel let happen tonight. He allowed his anger and fear to twist his perception of facts and turn him into his worst self. If he succumbs to—” He stops short. Grips my fingers, turning them so that he can press his lips to the back of my hand. “That’s not the type of warrior we can afford to take into battle.”